The Mystery of Gabriel Callen
by Relrmustang
Summary: Someone from Callen's past threatens the safety of his team and an old friend. The stranger wants information on someone the team has never even heard of, sending Callen into a spiralling panic and he learns to trust his team with more than just his life. This is my first fan-fic, I hope it's enjoyed let me know what you think. Disclaimer: sadly the characters don't belong to me :(
1. Chapter 1

Marty Deeks woke up, ready to head off to work but it was quiet and he was late getting up. It wasn't that rare for the detective to arrive there late, but it was usually due to traffic or the odd perfect wave for him to surf that he just couldn't resist.

Deeks was usually awoken early in the morning by Monty; his dog had never let him oversleep in all the time he had owned him. Why would he start now?

"Monty?" Deeks called, but there was no reply or any sound at all from anywhere in his apartment. He was worried that the dog was unwell or injured, moments later it turned out that it wasn't Monty he should be afraid for; it was himself.

Four huge men – not unlike Sam – flanked a dark figure in his living room. Deeks knew his gun was in his bedroom but the second he tried to run back for it, the four men grabbed him and held him tightly. Presumably they were the stranger's bodyguards, they were worryingly strong and almost certainly had experience in combat. Then Deeks noticed Monty lying on the sofa unconscious, Deeks was afraid that his trusty and loyal dog was dead, until the figure spoke.

"Don't worry; your dog is drugged, not dead. This doesn't need to be difficult Detective, it could be the easiest thing you do today. But knowing your reputation, it may not be." Deeks looked at the man but his face was shielded from view and it was still dark in the apartment as he hadn't had the chance to open the curtains.

"Why are you here?" Deeks asked, holding his nerve.

"I want some information, not much – in fact, I would be reasonably happy with a simple address." The man's voice was deep and rough, he sounded older; perhaps fifty years old (at a guess). Deeks wasn't entirely sure what he was going on about or how to answer the man. "I will give you a name and I want you to get me all the info you have on the man." That made a little more sense, but also ensured that Deeks would have to refuse.

"I can't do that." He said, trying to keep his voice steady.

"But on the contrary, you most certainly can. I know that you are not just a detective with the LAPD; I know that you work closely in an undercover team. I do not know the agency, but I know where your partner lives and almost all of your team. If you don't follow my instructions I will kill you." Deeks took a deep breath before answering.

"I can deal with that." His shaky statement made the stranger laugh.

"Perhaps, but your team will share the same fate as you. If you get me the information, I will let you live and they will live too. If you don't or you betray me to the police, you will die and so will they." Deeks was defeated, he could not allow the team to be further compromised or in any way harmed – not because of him anyway. He had only one choice.

"Fine, just leave my team out of this." He said, still kept motionless by the bodyguards.

"I have your number; expect my call after you reach work." Then he nodded to his men, who punched Deeks in his stomach, back and sides. He stayed down on the ground until they left and he heard their vehicle pull away. The detective checked through the window, there were no plates or anything identifiable on the black van they used.

* * *

Callen was worried; he felt that something wasn't quite right with Deeks being late. He still hadn't arrived and he should have just over an hour ago. As senior team leader it was his job to keep an eye out for the other agents, but Hetty didn't share his concern.

"He's probably just lost track of time surfing or whatever it is that usually makes him late." But Callen's instinct told him something was off and it was almost never wrong, so he shouted up to Eric – a keen surfer and their technical operator.

"What's it like for surfing this morning?" Eric raised an eyebrow at Callen's question but answered quickly.

"Awful, I doubt you'll find anyone but kids out there this morning. Why?" Callen's suspicions heightened.

"Deeks is late, check the traffic." Eric quickly tapped the tablet he carried and frowned.

"It's all clear, except the usual through the tourist areas. Nowhere Deeks could have driven through is backed up in any way." Callen frowned and asked Eric to track the GPS in Deeks' car and phone.

"They're both here." He shouted back downstairs.

"What?" Callen asked, just as Deeks made his way into the building. Callen took one look at him and saw what must have happened. "Everyone to Ops… now!" The team leader shouted, sending his team and even Hetty up the stairs in a startled hurry. Callen waited as the detective came over to him, he hadn't needed any info; he could see someone had gotten to Deeks.

"Do you need a medic?" He asked first. Deeks shook his head but kept his arm over his side and stomach protectively. "Come on then." He said. Deeks appreciated Callen not offering him a hand; the agent knew the detective would not appreciate it. Callen walked just behind Deeks as they took the stairs up to Ops and only had to catch him once, as Deeks wobbled on the edge of a step. But neither of them mentioned it and they continued up to Ops.

"Mr Callen I hope you have a good explanation for ordering us all up here without a word of warning." Hetty only noticed the way Deeks was leaning on a desk after she finished speaking. "Ah!" She sighed.

"Deeks? What happened to you?" Kensi asked, rushing to fuss over her partner. Deeks finally managed to calm her down and quickly explained what had happened in his apartment that morning, leaving his friends surprised and concerned about a great deal of things.

_Why Deeks? Were they severely compromised? How would they play this?_ It was Callen that spoke first.

"They are going to call any minute, Deeks I want you to take the call and act as if you are going to follow their orders. You put your phone on speaker and we will all be silent. Eric, you try and run a trace – you won't get one but there's no harm in trying – and Nell… as soon as we have a name, run it through the system."

Deeks took to sitting in the nearest chair as the others all awaited the call. Eric signalled to Callen that he was ready to run the trace and Nell nodded, she was also ready.

The whole team waited for only a few minutes in silence, with Ops sealed off so as to ensure no interruptions and the video-feeds shut down incase the director initiated a conference call during the phone call. When Deeks' phone actually rang, everyone stared at it until Deeks answered the call and put it on speaker.

Callen listened to the man on the other end of the phone line; at a guess Callen could profile him in seconds. Between fifty and sixty years old (probably closer to the lower), obviously male and American – sounded Californian – and vaguely familiar to Callen in some way.

"Deeks."

"Detective, are you alone?" Deeks looked at Callen and Callen shook his head, this man would know if Deeks lied, Callen could sense that.

"No."

"Is it safe to talk?" Callen nodded.

"Yes."

"Good. Find the person we are looking for; we only need an address. If you don't we will kill everyone you love and care for, starting with your lovely partner." Deeks paled but kept up the discussion, hoping Eric can pin down the stranger's location. "Do you understand?" He asked. But Deeks was scared and went silent for a moment. "Do you understand?"

"Yes… How will I let you know?"

"I will call you at nine pm. I want you to find… Gabriel Callen." The stranger cut off and Eric cursed.

"I nearly had him, he stopped just in time, in case he was being traced." But Callen wasn't listening; he was trying to keep himself standing and composed.


	2. Chapter 2

"G?" Sam looked to his partner for some kind of explanation but Callen wasn't paying any attention. "G?" he pressed, but his partner gave no response. Eventually, Callen closed his eyes, reopened them and turned his steady gaze upon his partner. "It can't be a coincidence that whoever this person is has the same last name as you. Do you know who they want?" But Callen stormed out before Sam had received any answer or acknowledgement that he had even spoken.

"Guys, wait." Nell exclaimed as she looked at the only Gabriel Callen in the system. The record's picture had been blacked out and showed only the known addresses of Gabriel Callen. The list showed a dozen or so different addresses, from the age of 13 to 18, when the kid disappears without a trace.

* * *

Callen left the Ops centre, he hadn't even thought of that name in years, let alone heard it spoken. Gabriel Callen had all but died when he turned eighteen, Callen had done all he could to hide the details of the cases involved. Hetty had allowed him to do anything but destroy the files; she had even sealed the file so that beyond the previous addresses, nothing could be viewed without a very high clearance password. That was fine because no one would open the file without consulting Hetty, she had marked it herself to ensure that fact.

Callen went straight to the operation manager's office, desperate and panicked. Hetty poured him a cup of tea and waited for him to speak; she had left as soon as she heard the name spoken.

"What the hell do I do now?" He asked, sounding more lost than he had for a very long time.

"I'm sorry Mr Callen, but I think the time may have come for you to trust your friends and tell them about Gabriel." Callen couldn't believe she had said that, how could he ever speak of it? The only one he was even remotely comfortable talking to about what happened was Hetty.

"No! You swear to me that you will keep your promise!" He shouted; the team came rushing down the stairs to find out what all the noise was about, only to find Hetty calmly returning Callen's desperate and furious gaze. "You swore you would say nothing until I gave you permission!" Hetty looked down at her cup of tea and sighed.

"Mr Callen, I am deeply offended that you think I would betray you and break the promise I made to you. I will say nothing, but I want you to tell them. You no longer have any choice, for their own safety." Callen glowered at Hetty and stormed out, without as much as a glance towards his friends.

* * *

Sam was worried; he had only seen G that angry a few times before. The main time was when the director had refused to allow the team to rescue Hetty from Romania. G had quit and the team had gone with him. Apart from that, it was only when someone had threatened his team or an enemy had brought up his family. But he had never treated Hetty with anything less than complete and utter respect, which meant that things must be bad and complicated for him to speak to her that way.

"Mr Hanna." Hetty called Sam over to her office with an expression that showed that she mirrored Sam's worry.

"Hetty, what is going on?" He asked.

"I'm so sorry Mr Hanna; I can't answer that question without Mr Callen's permission. That is a promise I made to him many years ago." Sam raised his eyebrows, he knew his friend and Hetty went back a long way – but how long was a mystery to all of the others.

"I understand, but Hetty… do you know where to find him?" The operations manager thought for a moment and replied sadly.

"A quiet bar is likely, if not he will have brought his own alcohol and gone off to get drunk somewhere." Sam didn't believe her; he had never seen G even remotely intoxicated. G drank beer or wine with the team but he had never had enough to get drunk. "Mr Hanna, if he is not at a bar he will have brought a lot of booze; he doesn't get drunk easily. When you find him call me before anything else." Sam nodded to Hetty and took the stairs back up to Ops at a run. He relayed his conversation to the others and they reacted the same way he had.

"Callen? He never gets drunk and he can drink a fair bit without showing any signs of it." Kensi was as disbelieving as Deeks and Sam but Hetty knew everything – they were worried that she may have been right.

"Sam." Eric called and the team went over to Eric's monitor only to find that Hetty was right. Eric and Nell had tracked Callen down and found him drinking some form of alcohol at his house.

"Come on." Sam said to Kensi and Deeks. "Eric, don't lose him." Eric and Nell were also worried about their friend. Callen was known for his ability to cope with anything and today he had run away and possibly gotten wasted.

Sam told Kensi and Deeks to wait by their car on the road, whilst he went to collect their colleague. He couldn't believe what he found inside the living room.

* * *

Callen lay on his bedroll, weeping. He was aware that he had probably overreacted but he couldn't help it. He had sworn to forget Gabriel Callen, Hetty had agreed never to mention it although he had been forced to cut her off in the past when she tried to get him to talk. As always Hetty wanted him to open up, to Sam or Nate if not her. But he couldn't, he wouldn't allow the team to see him that weak or discover how alone he truly was.

Callen needed to forget, that was why he kept drinking. He was able to tolerate a lot of alcohol in his system before he was ill or in any way affected by the stuff. This time he had made sure he would be properly wasted and would certainly forget everything by the time anyone found him.

Of course, he knew the team would look for him and eventually find him, but by then he intended to be unconscious. He needed a good few hours sleep for a change.

* * *

Sam walked up to his best friend, who sat with his back against the plain wall. Sam had never seen him so lost or seemingly broken, he wanted to know what was going on and who Gabriel Callen was, but G was his priority at that moment.

"G?" He spoke softly, like he would to a child and slowly knelt down beside his friend. Callen turned his face and squinted at Sam; he kept blinking and was swaying. He was drunk, very drunk.

"Sam?" G slurred, practically out of it.

"Hey G, how are you feeling?" G shrugged and downed the last of the whiskey he was drinking. "How much have you had G?" But Sam then noticed the two empty bottles of Whiskey that lay forgotten beside Callen. "Wow." Sam marvelled. _How was G still awake?_ "G, do you remember why you are here?" He asked tentatively.

It took his friend more than a minute to process the question, think of the answer and slur his reply.

"To-to for…forget."

"Forget what?" After another moment of thinking, G started laughing – although it was more like giggling. "G?" Sam could see that his friend was about to lose consciousness.

"I don't r-remember…" G was practically hysterical when Sam motioned for Deeks to come inside and give him a hand. "It worked!" G laughed.

"Good, that's wonderful." Sam rolled his eyes.

"I'm, I'm gonna sleep, now Sam." G stammered, just before he closed his eyes and slid sideways unconscious.


	3. Chapter 3

"G?" Callen stirred and at the sound of his partner's voice pretended to still be unconscious as he worked out his surroundings. "G. I know you're awake." Sam all but growled at him, Callen groaned and opened his eyes, only to find himself in the loft at the boatshed and his partner glaring down at him.

"Hi…" he whispered. Then Callen was blinded by the brightness of the lights. "Turn the lights off Sam." He moaned, but his partner didn't move an inch. "Sam…" his friend laughed at Callen, who was perfectly aware that he had never seen him like this.

"Mr Hanna, could you please give me a minute with Mr Callen?" Hetty asked as she walked through the door. Sam nodded and left with a wink at Callen – he thought Hetty was going to tear him to pieces.

"Hetty…" Callen said, as she sat in the chair beside the bed.

"Mr Callen, it is about time you were coherent enough to speak to me. It is also about time that you trust your team. I thought you trusted them, especially Sam." Callen sat up on the bed and held his head in his hands.

"It's not that I don't trust them Hetty. It's just, I don't want them to think I am weak, or damaged. You have no idea how normal I feel sometimes because I know they have no idea what I have done. It would destroy me to tell them, I don't know how I'd cope. They'd all end up being nice and comforting, but I hate it when people do that. You're the only one I know won't treat me like a child." Callen sighed, he had said too much. He always ended up telling Hetty too much, but at least he could trust her to give him his privacy and allow him to keep his dignity.

"Mr Callen, is that what it all boils down to? You don't want to be treated like a child because you hated your childhood and want to forget it." Callen nodded, she had finally gotten to the issue of why he wouldn't talk to a shrink or anyone else.

"Have you told them?" He asked, Hetty replied instantly but she didn't sound right.

"No." Callen gave her a look to say that she understood. "But I am telling you now; you no longer have the luxury to choose when you tell them, or at least allow them to see the file."

"Why?" But he knew the answer.

"Because they have even threatened, I know you would give your life to protect the rest of your team. This time, you only need to trust them and talk to them." Callen sighed and brought his knees up to his chest, resting his chin on them.

"I know. It's just… I don't know how to tell them. But I need to be there because the file doesn't cover everything."

Then he noticed Hetty glance up at the hidden camera in the corner of the room. Callen shot out of bed, out the door and down the stairs, only to find his team sat watching the TV. They had been listening to their conversation. But before he could take one step towards any door, Sam grabbed him and sat him down in the chair at the head of the table.

"Don't blame them, I told them to watch. Mr Callen, I was going to say that you could tell me and they would simply listen from down here." Callen glared at Hetty and then frowned at the table with his arms folded across his chest.

* * *

Sam was watching his partner very carefully, he could see that G was torn; he wanted to run away but he was desperate to protect his team too.

"G?" Sam sat beside his partner, who glanced at him. G looked afraid, fear was something that none of them had ever seen their leader express before. "I understand why you don't want to tell us, but I swear to you, we will not tell anyone what you share with us."

"Yeah… and we won't treat you like a kid, or any different to how we do now. Whatever happened doesn't matter, it won't change how we see you." Kensi sat on the other side of Callen and quickly squeezed his hand. G looked grateful to her for that, he knew she was telling the truth.

"Callen?" G looked at Deeks along with the others; the detective sat down on the other side of Kensi and smiled at Callen. "I don't know what it is you don't want to tell us. It's probably nothing like it, but I never wanted anyone to know about when I shot my dad. But I promise you, it really helped, it made me feel better. Perhaps it would help you too." They all looked at Deeks, surprised to see such maturity in his face.

"Cheers guys, it's just… I've never told anyone but Hetty. I never thought I would need to, it was supposed to stay buried. I'll tell you what happened, you deserve to know. When I've told you, Hetty can unseal the file. But only to Eric and Nell though." Hetty nodded and called Eric and Nell to the boatshed.

"Callen, we won't say anything either." They both said simultaneously as they walked in, making the others smile. The techies shut down all cameras and microphones in the boatshed and sat down ready to listen to their troubled friend.

* * *

Callen took a deep breath and immersed himself in the memories of Gabriel Callen. Although still aware of everything around him in the boatshed, Callen was practically reliving his memories.

"I _was_ Gabriel Callen." He said, watching the team's faces as they took in the information.

"But, you said you didn't know what the G stood for." Sam said, hurt if G had kept his name from them, from him.

"Oh I don't. I have always been but after an event in my past I went by the name of Gabriel." Callen took himself back to the foster home that housed the events of which he spoke.

"I was 14 at the time, in a foster home in Inglewood, not long after I lived with the Rostoff family. I wasn't the only kid there at the time, when I arrived there were three other kids. Two much younger boys; they were four or five and one girl, I think she was nine, maybe ten." Callen stopped as he remembered the face of the girl when he arrived at the house, she had smiled and he could see only how grateful she was. He shook himself out of his pause and continued, well aware of his friends' eyes on him.

"I don't remember the boys that well; they stayed mostly in their rooms playing with toys. I only saw them for meals; I think their names were Chris and Freddy. The girl, Kerry followed me everywhere and held my hand any chance she got. It was only four days before I found out why."

* * *

Sam was obviously worried for G; with each minute Callen's face grew graver and he looked younger. Sam put his hand on his partner's shoulder and Kensi took his hand. G glanced at her hand, as he continued the story Sam noticed him squeeze it more than once. It was like he was drawing strength from his team. The truth was, they had no idea how much he needed them every day.

"They had started beating her, they hadn't touched the young boys – younger kids don't fight back you see. It's only the older ones that interest those kinds of people. The woman wasn't so bad, she had slapped Kerry once but she mostly kept an eye on the boys. It was the man, Karl Johnson. He had started three days before I arrived; he had hit Kerry everyday, once or twice at a time. She told me it got worse every time, she said he used to drink a lot too; that was when it happened. From what she said I knew I had to protect her, I knew those kinds of people; they would get worse and worse until the kid was dead or taken away by a family."

* * *

Hetty watched each member of the team's faces as her most precious agent and friend told them what was sadly only a small part of his childhood. Of course, she wasn't supposed to have favourites, but Callen was different, he was like a son to her. Sam was obviously disgusted with the tale already but he was watching his partner so closely and intently that he was trying to keep it hidden. Kensi and Deeks were holding eachother's hands under the table – although they didn't seem to have noticed themselves – as Kensi kept hold of the team leader's hand. Eric and Nell had also grabbed eachother's hands, but they were both quite aware of that fact. Unknown to the others, Nate had also slipped inside the room. Hetty had called him when Callen went missing and he had rushed away from his assignment. "This is more important." He had told his boss.


	4. Chapter 4

"They sent me to my room and I had thought nothing of it; it was dark and late so I assumed we were going to bed. But he locked the door to my room and moments later I heard Kerry scream from downstairs. It was then I realised why he had separated us, I needed to help her, I was moving before I even registered my actions. I picked the lock on my door and rushed towards the stairs; the woman was crying, sat with the boys in their room. She knew what was happening and didn't like it but a bruise on her cheek told me she was too scared to intervene. She knew what I was going to do and she locked herself in the room, with a slight sad smile. Kerry was still crying when I got to the living room – until he held a hand over her mouth. I could smell the liquor across the room." Callen took a deep shaky breath as he recounted what Hetty considered to be the defining moment in what should have been his childhood.

"I rushed at him and knocked him off her, I told her to run upstairs and hide in her room. She asked me "What about you?" I told her I would be fine and so she ran to hide. Johnson growled at me and punched me, knocking me to the ground – but I had learned to fight on the streets of LA, so he wouldn't put me down as easily as he had guessed. I told him if he wanted a challenge, he should try me. He laughed and agreed. I got back to my feet and we wrestled, but eventually his size and experience won out and I was pinned to the floor. He punched me so many times around the face that I didn't wake up for over half an hour. The woman shook me awake and told me to run to my room before he woke up – he had passed out drunk on the sofa. Kerry had hidden in my room instead of hers, when I walked in she wrapped her small arms around me and cried."

Sam was shaking with anger, he hated the fact that someone had hurt G so much, his best friend. He could see horror in the other agents' faces and the bad memories that floated to the surface in Deeks' mind. Hetty nodded to Sam but he saw the anger and sadness in her eyes. It was only then he noticed Nate, who was watching G as closely as he had been. Sam thought it was about time G spoke to Nate, he would make sure he did.

"The same thing happened the next day, but he heard me coming and he held a knife to Kerry's throat. He told me that it was for me to decide who would suffer. I didn't even have to think about it, I said me and he smiled. That was what he had wanted. But I was still weak from the day before, so I couldn't fight as long that time – although I smacked him across the face hard enough to knock him out for a bit. When I found Kerry under my bed she said she couldn't sleep alone. I told her she could sleep beside me if it would help, eventually she was starting to drift off and she whispered something that changed everything. "Thankyou Gabriel." I asked her what she meant. "That's what the G stands for right, because I prayed and I prayed, then you came to me. I prayed for help and you were sent to me, you're my guardian angel." Then she had fallen asleep. I lay awake for most of the night wondering if that was my first name, I never really thought it was of course but it was nice to imagine that I had one. She always called me Gabriel after that, even the boys did – although they didn't really see us, because that was what Kerry called me.  
The next few nights were worse but I could cope with it, until Kerry came downstairs to find him kicking the hell out of me on the floor. She shouted my name at me – Gabriel at least – and started crying, but she wouldn't leave when I told her to run. Johnson asked her what she said and she told him. "He doesn't have a name, no one wants him; no one ever has! He has no name!" But she told him that my name was Gabriel, he hit her and said he would kill her if she was lying. I told her that she was right, so he thought that was my name. He hit Kerry again and knocked her down, his wife saw from upstairs and came running down, she told him to stop. He hit her next but when she fell she protected Kerry's body with her own. I couldn't hate her, she was just scared and I learned then that the police probably wouldn't have helped or believed her before; the same way they hadn't when I had tried to call them at other homes. But it was only me that he was bothered with, that's when he pulled out a shotgun."

* * *

Callen stopped, tears filled his eyes and a few escaped, much to his annoyance. But the presence of his team, his friends, kept him strong and he found that it didn't matter that they saw him cry. Hetty smiled at him knowingly and then he noticed Nate stood beside the door. Callen nodded to him and glared at Hetty but couldn't stop; as soon as he composed himself he finished the story.

"He wanted to shoot his wife and Kerry and he was going to, I could see that. So I sneaked into the kitchen as they cowered on the floor. My body wanted me to run out the door and save myself, but I couldn't do that, I wasn't going to be a coward for the rest of my life. I followed my instincts and turned to the knife block on the counter. I took the two matching smaller knives, went back into the living room and told him to let them go. But he only laughed. "Why? Do you think I am afraid of you, boy?" I told him that he would be if he didn't set them free but he still refused. I ran towards him and he shot at me, the bullet grazed my right thigh but I carried on. I knocked the gun from his hands and kicked it away, I shouted for the woman to take the kids and call the cops. She grabbed Kerry, then the boys and rushed out the door. I knew I was going to die, but at least Kerry and the others would be safe.  
I threw one knife at him and he cut himself as he tried to catch it, but then he also had a knife. I was so scared that I couldn't even scream – not that it would have done much good. He attacked me and cut my chest open… you've all seen the scar. Then I stabbed him in the side, he dropped the knife and I dropped mine in shock. I kicked him and kicked him; I punched him so much that my hands were coated in his blood. But he still got back up, I backed up against the wall, with nowhere to go and he smacked my head off the wall.  
I fell to the ground and my eyes were half closed, he kicked me and punched me almost as much as I had him. But then he found the gun from under the sofa and said it was time for me to die. That was when the armed police arrived, they shouted and I could hear them through the windows – I think they had one of those megaphone things. They smashed through the windows and broke down the front door. I was curled up on the floor and he told them that he knew he was going to be arrested, but I was going to die first. He shot the gun just before one of the cops shot him in the leg and they rushed in, they grabbed him and took him away – he was laughing because he thought I was dead. I remember a pain in my arm as I covered my face with it and then I lost consciousness. I had thought I was dying, as did the medics in the ambulance that took me to hospital.  
I woke up with tubes in me and seemingly covered in bandages and then a familiar sniffle to my left made me sit up. Kerry was crying in the chair beside me and the moment she saw me wake up, she leapt onto the bed and hugged me. It hurt so much it brought tears to my eyes, but they were tears of happiness too; she was safe and that was all that mattered. I pulled her up onto the bed and she curled up beside me, she fell asleep for what must have been the first time since it had happened – I'd had no idea that I had been unconscious for just over two days.  
When the doctors came in they were surprised to find me awake and one of them went to move Kerry off the bed but I shook my head and begged for the first time in my life. "But there is a social worker here; someone wants to adopt her." When I asked who, they said it was her Aunt Jenny but I asked them to wait just a few hours. I wanted to tell her myself and make sure she knew I would be alright. They agreed; seeing how much it meant to both me and her, as she wrapped an arm around me – which hurt, but I didn't care at all.  
She didn't want to leave me when she woke up, she didn't want to go. But I couldn't let her back inside the system when her Aunt wanted her back. I told her she needed to go and that I would be alright. She made me promise not to die, she made me swear and I did. She said that her aunt was really nice, like her parents but they had died in a car crash only three weeks before. "I'm going to miss you so much Gabriel." I told her I would too, but I said I would always be there to watch over her, I said I would always keep her safe. I regretted that as soon as I said it; I couldn't look out for her anymore, what if something happened? But they took her away the next day." Nate watched Callen as he finally came to the end of the story, he was in tears. They could all see how much he must have missed Kerry after that, it had broken his heart.


	5. Chapter 5

Callen glanced around the room, seeing the various expressions on his friends' faces. Sam was furious, relieved and watching him intently, all at once. Kensi was sad and supportive, whilst Deeks was unnaturally quiet but smiled when Callen smiled to him. Eric and Nell were still holding eachother's hands and looked both sad and slightly sick. Hetty was her usual self, although she looked different somehow. Nate was calculating; he was thinking over everything Callen had just said and was committing it to memory. Hetty then took the tablet from Eric and unsealed the file, just before Sam asked Callen something.

"Where did you go after that G? I hope someone took care of you for a while." At that Callen smiled at Hetty.

"That was the best place I ever stayed at, alongside the Rostoff house. The lady there made me what I am today and I would have died a hundred times over if it wasn't for her. She was and still is a mother to me." Hetty had a tear in her eye at Callen's words.

"Are you still in contact with her?" Callen smiled at Hetty and laughed before turning to Sam.

"I see her every single day." Callen said, surprising the rest of the team.

"Who is it?" Kensi and Deeks chimed, simultaneously.

"I can't say, sorry." They all raised their eyebrows. "It's classified." Or _was_ until Hetty spoke.

"It's me." She said with a wry smile. "And I am so proud of him."

The team couldn't believe it; they were stunned. Nate was the only one who didn't sit there with his mouth hanging open.

"Nate, you don't appear surprised." Hetty said and he looked her in the eye with a smile of his own.

"I have watched this team for a long time now Hetty. You treat each of your agents equally and I know you love them all like a mother. But I have seen how you have been with Callen before; I have seen you cover him with a blanket when he falls asleep on the sofa at work. You risked your life to throw the Comescus off his trail. I often wondered how close you really were, how long you had known eachother." Callen was not surprised; he knew just how good Nate was at his job, so of course he had seen how they were with eachother. In fact, both he and Hetty had often marvelled at the fact that none of the other agents had clocked their mother-child type relationship. But Callen was surprised to hear about Hetty's motherly actions in the workplace.

"So come on, while we are here and 'off the record', why don't you explain how you met." Sam smiled. "I have always wondered about that." Callen looked up at Hetty, who smiled back and nodded for him to go ahead.

"After the incident with Karl Johnson, Hetty came to visit me at the hospital. I didn't trust her of course for a very long time. She told me that I would be staying with her for a few weeks, perhaps more if her job allowed. We both knew I would never be adopted, and Hetty's job certainly wouldn't have allowed for that. But I stayed at her house for two months, she started teaching me different languages after she found out I was already fluent in Russian.

One day she came home and I only had to read the look on her face, I was being sent on somewhere else. I was devastated; Hetty was the first foster parent that I was starting to truly trust, others had been friendly enough but I could never trust them. I knew what Hetty's job was - more or less – and that it was why I couldn't stay. I was sent to other care homes and foster houses during the next few years." Hetty stood with her hand on Callen's shoulder, and noticed Kensi frowning.

"Miss Blye?" She asked.

"Oh, um… nothing." But Hetty pushed and Kensi looked at Callen awkwardly. He told her to spit it out. "How many foster homes did you stay in? The file obviously doesn't contain them all because that was after the Johnson's." Callen looked down and smiled to himself sadly.

"Thirty seven, from the age of five, until I turned eighteen." It was Eric's turn to ask, he was the maths wiz of course.

"But that doesn't add up… if the longest you stayed with anyone was the Rostoff family and they had you for three months, where did you live the rest of the time?" Callen should have expected the question from someone at some point.

"I lived on the streets, or I stayed with Hetty – off the books. They would find me again eventually and I would go back into the system, but I never stayed for long. I always found Hetty, I knew she wouldn't turn me away."

"Yes, it was rather worrying actually." Hetty said. "I was an undercover agent and without sounding big-headed, I was a damn good one too. It surprised me every time I opened my door after moving house, only to find Mr Callen on the doorstep. I still don't know how he found me. I never told anyone where I would be going, not even a hint to the neighbours. Even my agencies didn't know some of my addresses." Callen grinned at Hetty, showing for one of the first times publicly how much he really cared for her, not just respected her.

"So, you showed an aptitude from a young age. If you don't mind me saying Callen, I always suspected as much and I often wondered how your younger years affected your career choice, your natural abilities. Now we know it was also Hetty that inspired you." Callen smiled at Nate, he was right as he often was, but none of them – with the exception of Hetty – had any idea to what extent he learnt from that life.

"How much time have we wasted? Well, _I_ wasted." Callen asked suddenly, Nell checked the time.

"It is now three thirty in the afternoon." She stated. Could they really have been talking for that long? But then, there had been the incident with the whiskey.

"How long did I sleep for Sam?" Callen asked incredulously.

"When we found you it was eleven, you woke up at about quarter to two." Callen raised his eyebrows, that meant that today so far, he had slept more than he had overall the past forty-eight hours.

"Let's get to work." Callen said.

"What, you have a plan? Already?" Deeks exclaimed.

"I've had a plan since I decided to tell you what happened." He chuckled, before they all headed back to the Ops centre.

The file was unsealed and the entire of NCIS: LA was cleared from the building for the day, except those that were needed – but even they were sent to work downstairs. The only people cleared to enter Ops during the case were Callen, Sam, Kensi, Deeks, Eric and Nell, Nate and of course Hetty.

Callen held his breath as Eric pulled all the info from the now unsealed file and put it up on the big screen for them all to see. There were detailed accounts written by each of the children, including Callen and both Karl and Mary Johnson. The team read them all with disgusted faces, but it helped that they had already heard it from Callen.

Then the photos came up, Callen couldn't stomach it any longer and he ran from Ops at full speed. Sam ran after him – worried he was bolting again – and found him throwing up into a toilet downstairs. Callen could only see those images now, both those on the screen and his own mind. Kerry all bruised with puffy, red eyes from all the crying, himself battered and broken and the blood stained living room that had been the crime scene. Karl Johnson was also pretty messed up, but with a huge smile on his face.

* * *

"G? You gonna be alright?" Sam asked, but his partner didn't show any signs that he had heard him. Sam reached out and placed his hand on G's shoulder but Callen flinched beneath his touch. Callen's eyes grew wide with fear and panic as he realised he was still shaking slightly. Sam looked sad and surprised, his partner had never done that before, but it showed Sam that all the years he had known G; he had never truly known him. He was broken inside and vulnerable, but he hid behind so many convincing and realistic masks that Sam had never seen him like that.

"Sam, I am _so_ sorry." But Sam shook his head.

"It doesn't matter G, _I'm_ sorry." But to Callen it did matter, a great deal.

"I was just thinking about that time, what happened. Those pictures make me feel sick Sam, like I'm a kid again. I was so immersed in my memories I didn't even notice you there." G seemed desperate for Sam to forgive him, but he had done nothing wrong.

"Ok, we'll talk about this later. Right now we need to get your plan into action, whatever it is." At that Callen's emotional walls rebuilt themselves in seconds and they made their way back to the others, although Sam thought Callen still looked pretty pale.


	6. Chapter 6

The team didn't say anything, Callen just told them he had felt ill but was better now and they continued looking through the file. When it was all done, Eric and Nell tried to track down Karl Johnson, only to find that he had died in prison five years ago.

"Who else would want to find Gabriel Callen?" Hetty asked, but Callen shrugged; he had no idea.

"I don't know, I was never in one place long enough to make any enemies as such. I mean, sure I pissed off plenty of people, foster parents and social workers. But no one I can think of that would particularly care what happened to me." Callen sat down, racking his brains to think of anyone, but there was no one in the system that would have ever bothered to hold a grudge for so long and then act on it.

"What about people you met outside the system? Friends?" Callen snorted at Nell's idea.

"I didn't have friends, not outside of foster homes. There was no child within the homes that would have wished me any harm, none of the other adults that are alive would remember me let alone try and track me down. I met plenty of people on the streets, I pissed off a lot of them too but they never knew my name. I made sure of that, I gave them all different names, that couldn't be traced back to me in any way because they never even existed." Sam and the others looked oddly impressed. "What?"

"Even as a child, you could become anyone you pleased. No wonder you are the best undercover agent there is." Callen rolled his eyes at Deeks, but he had a thought.

"Check to see what happened to Mary Johnson." Nell got straight onto it.

"Would she want you harmed? For the capture and death of her husband?" Kensi asked shocked. Callen shook his head.

"No, I was the one that kept her out of jail. They wanted to lock her up too, but she had been afraid and had protected the boys and eventually Kerry too. She had called the police who saved my life. Neither of us would ever wish the other anything but happiness." The others were confused.

"So… why are you looking her up?" Deeks asked. Nell interrupted before Callen could reply.

"Sorry, Mary Johnson. She eventually adopted Chris and Freddy before changing their names to John and Harry. She remarried two years later and became Mary Walker, she changed the boys' names too. The whole family, including Mary's younger biological son was killed five years ago in northern Los Angeles. The case was never solved." Callen's eyes darkened as he turned to Deeks.

"That's why." He whispered. He didn't understand yet, but it was something to do with Karl Johnson, it just had to be.

* * *

It was now eight pm and G was getting agitated. Sam had asked Nate to talk to his partner but G had sent him away, saying it wasn't the time for therapy. They had one hour before the phone call and they had no leads of any kind. G was still sitting in the same chair he had been sat in for the last four hours. There was nothing he could do but he had refused to sleep, he had even refused the food Sam gave him until Hetty forced him to eat it. He drank too many cups of coffee and sat staring at the printed version of the file in front of him, desperate to find an answer, when one might not have even existed.

No matter how many times Callen read the file, he couldn't find any clues; he couldn't think of anything even remotely helpful.

Eventually the clock showed nine pm, they all stood waiting but allowed Eric and Nell to continue typing and working away. All the other tech people had been allowed back upstairs although not in the room as they needed it to sound busy. The plan had been explained to everyone and they all knew their jobs, Hetty didn't like it but it was the best plan they had and the only reason she was unhappy was because it put Callen in serious danger with an unknown enemy. The phone rang and after two rings Deeks picked up, putting it straight onto speaker-phone again.

* * *

"Deeks…"

"Detective?" The rough voice sounded questioning and obviously wanted an answer. Callen signalled to Deeks to keep them talking; Eric was trying to run a trace.

"Yeah, didn't catch your name sorry." The rough voice laughed for a moment.

"No, you didn't. Don't play games with me detective. You know what I want to know." Deeks looked at Eric who signalled two more minutes.

"Yes." Deeks replied.

"It sounds noisier than last time we spoke. Surely everyone should be at home. I noticed that none of your team had left yet." Deeks frowned but continued.

"There has been a new case arrive in the last few hours, people have had to stay late to close it. I can't talk too openly right now." The stranger took a moment to think and wasted his own time.

"Do you have the information I require?" To which Deeks said yes. "How much?" He inquired.

"The entire file. It wasn't easy to get hold of but I have a copy of it, including the address. The only thing missing is a photo."

"Good." The voice purred, just as Eric signalled he had the location. Callen looked at it with wide eyes. "Come outside and wait just outside the gates, out of view of your CCTV." Then they cut off and Deeks put the phone back down on the table.

"Where are they?" Hetty asked.

"Here." Callen said, with darkness in his eyes.

Deeks left the building acting slightly suspiciously, only enough to make the man think he was agitated. When he reached the gates, just a few metres away sat a black van. As the van drove towards him and stopped, Deeks took out his gun and kept it trained on the main man. He also took the file from his jacket and waited for the man to reach him.

"Detective… you have done well – though the welcome is not so pleasant."

"With all due respect, neither was yours this morning." The man laughed but Deeks held his nerve. "I hand over this file, you leave my team alone. I didn't come out here to shoot you but I will if I have to."

"That was our deal. Hand over the file and you will never see me again – not that you would know if you did of course." Deeks backed away until be reached the gate, then he left the file on the ground and rushed back inside before they could shoot him in the back.

Callen waited inside his house, still racking his brains. The team could hear everything through the microphone and camera hidden inside his box on the mantel piece. Callen also wore an earpiece so he could hear the others as well. Then all of a sudden, his brain actually started working and he sat down. He could hear Sam in his ear asking what was wrong.

"Kerry… find her." He finally understood what was going on; his brain had been so worried about what happened when he was a kid and the incident with Deeks this morning that he hadn't been thinking about what must have happened five years ago. Then Sam's voice came through the earpiece.

"They're here." Callen was awaiting them in the centre of his living room when the lock was picked and the door flew open. Five darkened figures stepped inside and closed the door behind them, also turning the lock and bolting it shut. They hadn't seen him yet; the house was completely dark and they would have assumed he was asleep – they had waited until eleven to come looking.

Callen stepped silently out of the way as two of the bodyguards went through to ensure that the kitchen was locked up. The other two remained and closed the curtains. Callen was glad he had sound-proofed the walls as best he could, got bullet-proof windows and the best curtains there were to keep light from going in or out. It meant there would be never be any phone calls to the police, or panic from the neighbours.

The five men got the shock of their lives when they turned on the lights. Callen stood staring at the man with his face covered and smiled the crooked smile that Sam always joked about.

"Karl Johnson, I believe." The chatter from the earpiece went crazy, they must have thought he had kept them in the dark but he had only just realised what must have happened.

"Gabriel Callen. You look just the same as you did when you lived with me. You also resemble one of the men that works with the detective who led me here. There's no way _you_ are a government agent." Callen laughed.

"We prefer Federal Agent, but it's all the same isn't it. I do work with Marty Deeks, he is not aware that I know of your arrangement. Neither does he know my identity, none of my team do." His words made Johnson laugh; it was the same sound as all those years ago.

"How did you know it was me?" He sounded truly interested this time and Sam was shouting the same thing down Callen's ear.

"I didn't until a few moments before you arrived. But your death in prison five years ago was too close to the death of your ex-wife and her family. Only months apart… that was sloppy Karl. As soon as I saw you step inside I knew for sure; you are the same height as before – and you still stink of beer." Callen smirked at Johnson's growl but he wasn't so calm for long.

* * *

Sam and the others were in a huge truck just around the corner from Callen's house; even Hetty, Nate and Eric were with them. They watched it all on the screen and Sam could have punched G for taunting the man like that, he was outnumbered five to one; even for G that would be a challenge. The smirk was wiped off Callen's face as Nell told Eric what she had found on Kerry.

"Kerry Proctor, changed her name to Kerry Grayson after she was adopted by her aunt, Jenny Grayson. She was found shot dead yesterday at their home, Kerry is missing – presumed to have been abducted." They watched Callen's face as he desperately tried to contain the anger boiling up within him.

"Where is she? What did you do to her?" Callen growled at Johnson.

"Mr Callen, please attempt to calm yourself." Hetty cautioned but he couldn't hear them and Sam knew he was lost to them. He had gone 'off the reservation' the second he knew they had her. That never ended well for G.

* * *

"I won't be telling you anything, I can show you though. I would ask you to come but I know I don't need to – not that you have any choice in the matter." Callen looked back at the two men in the kitchen doorway and at the three in front of him. If he really wanted to, he could have gotten away, taken all of them out – or at least had a damn good try. But he couldn't, they would never talk under pressure, interrogation or even torture. He had to go and get Kerry back himself.

"G! Don't you dare! I know you're gonna go, don't do it." But Sam knew Callen wouldn't leave Kerry.

"Mr Callen, please don't do this." Hetty begged, Callen felt a pang of guilt but even for Hetty, he couldn't leave Kerry to die.

"Îmi pare rău mama…" he whispered.

Callen heard Sam address Hetty through the earpiece. "What did he say?"

"I'm sorry momma. That's what he used to call me." Hetty sounded deeply upset but Callen couldn't think about that right now. In fact, he couldn't think anything because someone smacked him around the back of the head with the butt of their gun and he was knocked out cold.


	7. Chapter 7

"Come on! Wake up!" The roaring in his ears brought Callen to his senses, both from Karl Johnson who was looking rather triumphant and from his team who were, by the sounds of it, worried that he was dead. "Hello Gabriel, how quiet it has been without you. I could have made a bit more noise with your friend here, but I wanted to wait until you were with us to enjoy the show." Callen found himself on his side on a concrete floor, in what looked like an abandoned warehouse of some kind. He looked up past Johnson, only to find Kerry handcuffed to a chair behind him.

"Kerry?" He gasped; she looked the same as he remembered but older, and she was beautiful. Callen remembered her nine year old face and she had been adorable, but now she was gorgeous – of course the look of horror on her face made her look younger.

"Gabriel?" She asked, afraid to believe he was real.

"Yes, this is your precious Gabriel. It's just like old times now, but this time we won't be interrupted. I bet you wish you'd let your fellow agents know what was going on – not that they'd get you out in time." The rest of Callen's team was silent as they listened through the tiny microphone in the invisible earpiece, he was sure he could hear them breathing.

"Let her go Karl, it's not her you want to punish. I'm the one that got you sent down for what should have been life! I'm the one that made sure your wife could finish her life happy with a _decent_ husband!" Johnson leant over Callen at that point and backhanded him across the face.

* * *

"What the hell is he doing? He's gonna get himself killed." Sam knew what G was doing, but he couldn't answer Kensi's question. Hetty had to do it instead.

"Mr Callen is aggravating Johnson deliberately, to ensure that he hurts him and not Kerry. He is going to allow it to happen exactly how it happened before. Only…" Then Hetty stopped, unwilling to continue, Sam managed to say the next few words although feeling sick but once he had, Kensi wished she hadn't asked at all.

"Only this time he intends to ensure Kerry is safe and he will happily die, knowing that we will get Johnson." Deeks was annoyed.

"He must know we wouldn't let it get that far, he can hear us right?" Callen coughed which concealed one word in Romanian; they looked to Hetty for confirmation.

"Yes, he can hear us. We will wait for now, this is going to be a long night. Mr Callen!" Hetty called into the microphone. "If you agree with anything we say or ask, cough or something so we know your view. Do you understand?" Callen coughed a few times. "Shall we wait until you give us the go ahead? Or until there is no other option?" Another coughing fit came through the earpiece and it was so realistic Sam was almost fooled.

So the team spoke with Nell, who had stayed in Ops and they all discussed what they should do: how they should handle everything and whether or not to shoot Johnson in cold blood. In the end, they all voted 'Yes' to the latter. The team was parked in a dark clearing behind some dense trees just a few hundred feet from the warehouse, they were invisible but they kept all lights off as a precaution.

* * *

"As you have no doubt noticed, you are free." Johnson said to Callen, who had blatantly wondered why that was. "You can leave any time Gabriel, I don't need to lock you up when I have her." He pointed at Kerry who whimpered a little. "I'm going to give you two some time alone to catch up. The only thing you won't be able to do Gabriel, is set her free. There is nothing in this room that would help you do so and you were searched before you woke up. Even if you did manage to get her free, she would be shot on sight as soon as she walked through this door." Callen glared at the horrid man as he walked through the mentioned door, as soon as he was out of sight Callen ran over to Kerry.

"Are you alright? Did he hurt you?" He asked desperately as he searched through all his pockets.

"No, he shot my Aunt and then threw me in his van. Gabriel I am so sorry, this is all my fault!" Callen stopped and put his hands on either side of her face.

"I know what happened, but this is not your fault. You are only here to stop me from leaving, I am sorry." Then he took his favourite leather jacket off and felt up the sleeve for the pins he kept hidden inside. He took two of the pins and placed them in her hands. "You still remember how to pick locks?" He asked.

"Yes, that is one thing I made sure I practised. What do you do? Are you a cop?" Callen frowned.

"Why would you think that?" He asked.

"You told me you liked to help people, I always imagined you as a police officer. And he mentioned your_ fellow agents?_" Callen smiled.

"No, I am a Federal Agent with NCIS." Then his voice dropped to a whisper. "My team knows what is happening; they can hear everything that is going on right now. They'll get us out of this, don't worry Kerry."

"With all due respect to your team, it is you I believe can get us both out of this alive. You can't break your promise to me Gabriel, not so soon." Callen had a tear in his eye as he friends asked what promise he made, Hetty filled them in.

"Did you have a good life Kerry? Please tell me you did." She smiled and nodded.

"Thanks to you I did, my Aunt and Uncle loved me like I was their own. My uncle died a few years ago but my aunt still looked after me until the day she died. Have you had a good life?" Callen paused for a moment, but eventually decided to lie to her – at least for now.

"Yes." He knew they wouldn't have long left before Johnson got bored and came back. "Kerry, I have a plan but you need to remember and stick to it – whatever happens."

"Of course, guardian angel." And she smiled but Callen shook off her words.

"Even if I end up dead…?" She paused and stared at him but she would do as he asked and she agreed. "When I give the signal, pick the lock on the handcuffs and run up there." Callen pointed to a small window concealed at the very end of the building, on the balcony above them. "When you get out the window, you need to find my team."

"Where are you?" He hissed into his earpiece and listened as Sam explained the location.

"Run straight ahead, away from the warehouse and into the trees. Sam will wait for you by their van. You can trust them Kerry, I trust each and every one of those people with my life and with everything. They are my family." Kerry nodded.

"What's the signal?" She asked.

"I don't suppose you speak any languages do you?"

"I'm pretty fluent in French. Do you?" Callen nodded with a quiet chuckle.

"Yeah, a few. I will tell you when in French, okay?" Kerry nodded and was about to ask what would happen to Callen when she left, but Callen was saved from answering what he knew she wanted to know by Johnson bursting back through the door.

"Okay! You two have had time to chat; now it's time for the fun to begin." Callen backed away from Kerry at Johnson's motion but he held his breath; he could see his own SIG firearm inside Johnson's jacket.

* * *

Sam and Hetty were the most worried as they listened to everything that went on inside the warehouse but Kensi and Deeks were frightened too. They had been sat counting and recounting all the weapons and ammo they had, whilst Eric and Nell spoke over the webcams. Nell was in the middle of organising a government satellite to focus on the warehouse to enable them to see what they were up against.

Hetty had to help Nell contact and persuade the satellite operators to give control to Eric but when they realised who they were dealing with, they checked with their bosses and immediately granted them access. Of course they would also be watching, but the team only cared about Callen's safety, which included that of Kerry.

"Hetty? When will we know what to do?" Nate asked tentatively, just before Johnson returned to the room.

"I'm sure Mr Callen will let us know. I doubt Johnson is able to speak any other languages, whilst our agent is fluent in at least 9 and has very competent usage of a further 2. At least." Nate nodded and returned his attention to both the audio from the warehouse and the behaviour of the team members. He knew he was going to have to make sure none of them needed private counselling after all this was over. Nate also knew that he would force them to all attend a group session; they would definitely need to talk to eachother about the last twenty-four hours.

Nate's head forgot all of that when the team heard a loud thump and a groan from Callen.

"G!" Both Hetty and Sam cried at the same time. No one had ever heard Hetty address Callen as G before; she had always refused to do so at work.

* * *

"Remember you need to do as you are told…" Johnson taunted, Callen knew full well he had no choice. "Kneel down!" Callen hesitated for a second before dropping to his knees on the concrete. "Hands behind your back!" Callen did as he was told but his heart started beating faster as Johnson circled behind him, out of sight.

Then he heard air rushing past something moving too fast to be good and less than a moment later, he was on his face with a spinning head. Callen groaned and raised a hand to his head and found it sticky with his blood, looking up at Johnson he saw the metal pipe that must have done the damage. He could hear Sam and Hetty panicking through the earpiece.

"Get on your feet!" Johnson roared with a satisfied smile, Callen managed to find his way to a standing position, although he couldn't see too well. The metal pipe was smashed into the back of his knees, making him fall back into a kneeling position. Then into his stomach and chest, leaving him winded, before he was kicked in the back.

"I'm actually finding this rather boring. Don't get me wrong, I love beating the crap out of you, but it's not the same when you just take it." Well there was an easy solution to that wasn't there…

"So set her free." But Callen's remark only received a laugh.

"I could always shoot her…" Callen growled at the threat. "But I need my insurance policy and I think it would be more fun to simply threaten her." Johnson walked over to Kerry and stroked her face; Callen held his breath and roared as Johnson punched her across the face. "I am going to keep hitting her until you stop me Gabriel!" He went for another strike but he never touched her again as Callen barrelled into him from the side and tried to pin him down.


	8. Chapter 8

Hetty couldn't stand the sound of Callen in pain, it physically hurt her. She knew he would protect the girl to his death so they needed her clear before anything else. They watched the warehouse on the thermal imaging camera from the satellite; there were three armed guards at the main entrance and one on each outside wall. There were also five others spread out through the warehouse, with an extra four guarding the entrance to the main room where Callen was being held. They could also see Callen and Johnson struggling with Kerry tied up watching.

Using another camera of some sort that Hetty was completely unfamiliar with, Eric and Deeks managed to identify the guns that were being used by the guards. Heckler & Koch MP5A2 and Deeks was delighted to tell everyone that they actually had the exact same guns among their array of weapons.

Hetty relayed all this information to Callen directly; although he could hear their conversations he was too busy wrestling Johnson - by the sounds of it - to acknowledge or reply to them.

Eventually Callen shouted something in French, which Kensi translated to have been for Kerry to pick the lock on the handcuffs. Callen was so angry when he shouted the order; Johnson assumed he was just shouting at him in a different language. Then there was a scuffle and Callen was the one pinned down, they could hear Callen shout again just before the punches started. "Courir!"

"Mr Hanna, Mr Deeks; take these and bring her back alive." Sam and Deeks knew the plan, they had earpieces in so they could all communicate, took the guns that matched the guards' and snuck out into the dark.

* * *

Callen deliberately shouted to Kerry just before Johnson got started on him, he told her to run. She knew the plan, as did the others. He knew when she had picked the lock as she had nodded to him discreetly and so he picked his moment to tell her to run. Callen allowed Johnson to gain the upper hand because he knew the man would not notice anything until it was too late, he would get carried away. Callen would keep him occupied however he could to ensure she got away safely; that was his priority.

Callen watched Kerry as she quietly stood up and slipped the handcuffs into her pocket, she ran towards the stairs and made it up to the balcony in good time, although she glanced down at Callen hesitating. With a sad look on her face she ran towards the window and started to move stuff out of the way as quietly as she could manage.

But Johnson tried to move away from Callen, Callen grabbed him and started hitting him to keep his attention on him, but Johnson had had enough. He pulled the gun from his jacket and pressed it to Callen's forehead. Callen moved away from him but so that Johnson had his back to the empty chair.

"What are you doing? I didn't tell you to fight me again!" Callen rolled his eyes.

"You didn't tell me to stop either…" but Johnson cocked the gun so he sighed and stopped talking. He glanced up at Kerry and she only had to move two more chairs to be able to get out the window.

"Fine, I know that death does not really bother you. You really shouldn't test me if you want her to live." Johnson walked backwards towards the empty chair and turned, he had been planning to hold the gun to Kerry's head. When he saw her slip through the window he was furious and hit Callen around the side of the head with his own gun. Then he grabbed a radio and told his guards outside where to find her.

"Just wait and listen Gabriel, I told you she would be shot if she escaped. The next sound you hear will be her death. I'll give you credit, you kept my attention diverted and you somehow got her free, but she will still die. She was always going to die." Callen glared at Johnson.

"So how was this supposed to end?" He asked, actually curious to find out Johnson's plan.

"I was going to have my fun with you, then make you shoot yourself. I would have shot her after." Callen was shocked, he hadn't expected that. He had been pretty sure he would die tonight, but he hadn't thought he would have had to kill himself.

Then two gunshots echoed through the walls of the warehouse, off all the metal surfaces in the room. Callen's stomach tightened, awaiting news from Hetty.

"Callen? It's Hetty, Kerry is here with us. The two guards are dead and Mr Hanna and Mr Deeks have taken their place. Miss Blye will join them on your signal, but I think it would be best if Eric, Nate and I stayed here with Kerry." Callen waited until he replied, as Sam's voice had just come over the radio.

"She is dead, sir." He sounded just like the real guard had and Johnson was none-the-wiser. Callen then started sobbing and made sure he coughed so Hetty understood he agreed.

"I did warn you; her blood is on _your_ hands, not mine." Callen stared down at the floor, pretending to be traumatised or upset - whatever it is that people are after hearing such news. "I think it's time for another round, don't you?" When Callen didn't answer the gun appeared beside his head. "Gabriel… you should remember how you address me." Callen remembered and he would play along for now.

"Yes Sir! Sorry Sir!" He kept his head bowed as he had been told to as a child.

"It took you long enough to do as you are told. You should have learnt by now, if you hadn't been so rude and done everything you have done, no one would have died." Callen stared down at the concrete, listening to the others wondering what he was playing at. Hetty told Callen that everyone was ready to go; they were only awaiting his signal. "Gabriel. Get to your feet!" Callen stood up and watched as Johnson threw the gun to one side, he made sure he knew exactly where it was.

Johnson threw the first punch and Callen attacked him back, Callen had noticed the machine earlier and just decided the noise would give the team the chance to take out the guards. It must have been some kind of forge due to all the metal around, Callen made sure he shoved Johnson into the on-switch.

"Mama, omoară-i!" Hetty sprung into action and gave the order; even Callen didn't hear the gunshots or the commotion over the noise of the machine.

* * *

Sam and Deeks rushed over to the other guards – who thought nothing of them as all their faces were covered – and shot them down easily. Although this alerted the guards inside and they were caught in a shoot out for a minute or so. When they were done, Kensi joined the fray and walked inside smiling at the other guards. They were so surprised to see an attractive woman they were dead before they even knew she had a gun.

The four guards were trickier but eventually they managed to kill them, that was when the machine inside the main room was switched off and all became deadly silent. Sam and Deeks swept into the room and Kensi followed, but they were all brought up short by what they saw.

Johnson was standing over Callen, who was handcuffed and unconscious on the floor. Johnson had a knife to his throat and held him up so they had no clear shot.

"Drop your weapons or he dies!" Johnson shouted. All three agents dropped their guns instinctively and Hetty gasped as the camera attached to Sam's earpiece showed the group in the van exactly what was going on.

Sam could hear Hetty muttering into the microphone; her words obviously meant for Callen because she was speaking Romanian and no one else knew the language.

"Trezește-te, fiul meu, nu am terminat încă. Trebuie încă să găsească numele dvs. și familia ta și nu se poate rupe promisiunea de Kerry."

Sam was sure he saw G twitch but he worried he was seeing things, things he desperately wanted to see.

* * *

Callen could hear his momma whispering to him. It took him a moment to understand what was happening but her voice was so calming to him that his brain started working again and his plan formed immediately in his mind. He would not break his promise to Kerry.

Callen's arms were handcuffed behind and slightly beneath his body, so he kept his body relaxed and reached for the pins he had previously hidden in the waistband of his jeans. Callen could feel the edge of a knife against his throat, he felt it slice through some layers of skin but it was nothing too severe. He managed to pick the lock and slip out of the handcuffs without anyone noticing, even his team. Callen remembered that he had been trying to fall towards his gun and had actually fallen onto it, before Johnson had smacked his head against the floor until he fell unconscious. His head was still killing him and he doubted his vision would be any good, but he could ignore the headache for a minute or so.

He could still feel the SIG under his back, but he couldn't get to it without raising suspicion. Luckily, Sam tried to step forward and Johnson jostled Callen to stop the agents from trying anything. No one had noticed but Callen now had the gun in his right hand and had removed the safety, he now only had to wait until the blade left his throat.

"I want all three of you to leave!" Johnson shouted at the agents, but they refused. "I'll slit his throat if you don't; so deep the veins are beyond repair." Callen could hear Hetty through the earpiece; he knew from her breathing that she was fighting back tears. He was only sorry that he couldn't comfort his momma.

"But if you shoot him, then you will have no leverage. We will shoot you and we can all go home." It sounded like they didn't care about Callen; they would just carry on and wouldn't miss him. He remembered after Dom had died; everyone had been devastated but they had all gotten over it and Callen himself wasn't really sad about it anymore. He was angry because he should have stopped it, but he wasn't sad. Callen stopped thinking about that; it wasn't really the time, or the place. He couldn't do anything with the knife so close to his jugular, he still had to wait.

"Even with me dead, even if you managed to save him. There will be others to take my place; I'm sure there are plenty of people who would oblige." That confused Callen, what the hell did he mean? But he didn't really care; all he wanted was to see Johnson dead.

"Karl, why don't you just take the knife away a little… we've put our weapons on the ground, at least give it some space?" Sam begged. Surprisingly, the knife actually moved away, but Callen could feel Johnson's movements. He knew the blade was about to come down fast and that no amount of pleading from Sam would stop it.

"Please Mr Johnson?" Kensi begged, but Karl wasn't listening so Callen decided to take his chance.

He pulled his arm out from beneath him at the same moment the knife came towards his neck, the shock in Johnson's eyes was both delightful and satisfying but nothing could compare to Callen's elation when he pulled the trigger.

He felt his typical smirk cross his face as the first bullet entered Johnson's stomach; Callen leant over him as he fell to the concrete but Callen's vision was still bad and his mind too slow. That was why he failed to notice the knife before it was buried in his side.

Callen put the barrel of his gun directly between Karl Johnson's eyes and smirked, but he didn't pull the trigger.

He removed the knife and stood over the man, before shooting him again in the stomach. "That's for Mary." He said, before burying another two in his torso. "For Chris and Freddy." Then one in his chest. "For Kerry." And then he put one in his forehead. "For my team." Callen spat on Johnson's dead body and released a deep breath of relief and pain.

He knew the stab wound was probably the end of him; it was a deep wound and there were no hospitals nearby, not to mention all the other injuries he had suffered. But he found he didn't care, he had saved Kerry and that was all that mattered.

Callen fell to his knees but Sam caught him before he hit the hard floor, Kensi and Deeks knelt beside him as he faded into unconsciousness; at least he still had his family. They were there for him when he died, that was what allowed Callen to die happy.

"Iartă-mă mama…Te-am dezamăgit din nou…" He whispered to Hetty, his last thought was how sorry he was for failing her.


	9. Chapter 9

The team sat waiting in the hospital, desperate to hear that their friend and colleague was alive and would be fine. Nell met them at the hospital, she had left Ops as soon as she sent the helicopter in; she'd had it on standby, so Callen and Kerry could be flown to the nearest hospital as soon as possible.

"Hetty Lange?" A doctor appeared in the waiting room, startled to see seven people waiting to hear about one patient – but he was aware that the patient was a Federal Agent. Hetty stood up and the doctor recognised her, although he hadn't remembered the name. "Nice to meet you again Miss Lange, well I guess not." She smiled and nodded for him to continue.

"Doctor?" Sam asked, cautiously.

"You are all here for ?" They nodded. "He is stable, although still unconscious and the surgery went perfectly well. He should make a full recovery – but he needs to take the full amount of leave from work this time." None of them believed that would ever happen but Hetty allowed him to carry on. "The stab wound ruptured his spleen but luckily missed his vital organs; he has lost a lot of blood but we have given him a transfusion so that will not be a problem. It appears he was hit so many times around the head that he has suffered severe concussion and will likely be very confused when he wakes up. He should regain consciousness tomorrow; one of you will need to be here for that…"

But a crash from down the corridor interrupted the doctor Sam followed him, guessing that Callen had probably woken up earlier than he was meant to.

* * *

_What the hell?_ Callen was so lost and confused; he had no idea where he was or why he was there. He could see that it was a hospital and knew deep down that the nurses didn't want to hurt him, but one of them had tried to stab a needle in his arm just as he woke up and his instincts had taken over. He was stood with the nurse in a headlock and he backed up against the window, just as the door flew open and a doctor came in, followed closely by someone Callen trusted above most others.

"Sam?" He asked, scared.

"G? What are you doing now? Why can't you just sleep when you are supposed to?" Sam put his hand on the doctor's shoulder and walked towards his partner. Callen let go of the nurse and started apologising desperately, before grabbing his head in severe pain.

"I'm so sorry; I just... I didn't know what was going on..." But she cut him off with a soft smile.

"Don't worry Mr Callen, I understand. Can I give you the injection now please?"

"No!" Callen shook his head.

"G? Just have the injection… I can't believe you can laugh in the face of a man with a gun that wants you dead, and you don't care about a stab wound, but one little needle scares the hell out of you." Sam couldn't stop laughing and Callen glared at him, he nodded to the nurse and she stuck it in his arm really quickly, it was done in a matter of seconds.

* * *

Hetty stood in the waiting room and listened to Sam's account of what had happened, she agreed that his fear was irrational – considering what he wasn't afraid of – but Callen hadn't given Nate the chance to try and cure him of his phobia. Moments later, Kerry came running into the waiting room asking about Gabriel.

"Hetty? Is he alive?" She was so relieved when Hetty explained that he would be fine after some rest. "Can I see him?" She asked, Hetty asked her to wait a moment. The doctor had just finished checking over Callen's injuries agreed that he could see his visitors now, although he limited it to no more than four at once.

Hetty entered the room with Sam, Nate and Kerry only to find Callen glaring at the IV in his arm, blatantly considering ripping it out. When Callen looked up to see those closest to him, he grinned and looked happier than he had for a good long while.

"Gabriel!" Kerry flew towards Callen and wrapped her arms around him, making sure she didn't touch his side. "Is it true? You're going to be alright?" Callen laughed and moved over so Kerry could sit on the bed beside him.

"Yeah, I've had worse, don't worry." His words were intended to comfort her but the girl turned to Hetty in horror and asked for an explanation. "Kerry, don't worry. I was shot a few times, that's all." Callen tried to reassure her and Sam chuckled.

"That's true, although you were shot five times at once the one time." Callen rolled his eyes.

"Shut up Sam!"

* * *

Callen was so pleased to have his friends with him; it made him so much better than he would ever admit. He also found himself delighted to have Kerry there too, not just because they had a history and he was glad she was alright… he really _liked_ her. He couldn't stop staring at her, she was beautiful and he had always hoped that she would be safe and happy.

"Callen?" He looked up to see Kensi, Deeks, Nell and Eric peering through the door. He waved them in with a smile; they were his family too. "We're going to head home, we just wanted to see you and say we're glad your okay." They all came over and gave Callen a hug or shook his hand – Deeks and Eric weren't really hugging people but neither was Callen, although he made an exception for the girls.

"Thanks guys, I'll see you tomorrow… right?" They nodded, confused by his careful question and left to get some sleep.

"I think you should also consider getting some rest Mr Callen." Hetty sounded serious, but he doubted he would fall asleep.

"I'll lie here and try Hetty, but you know me – I don't sleep, even when I'm pumped full of sedatives, I know that's what the nurse gave me." Hetty nodded and sat down in a chair just beside the bed, Sam and Nate took to sitting in the chairs beside her; none of them were planning on leaving any time soon.

"Gabriel?" Kerry whispered, Callen looked at her gently with a smile. "Can I stay?" She asked and he didn't even have to think about it; he wanted nothing more. He shuffled over and let her lie beside him.

"Just like the old days…" He laughed; Kerry smiled and laid her head on his shoulder. Within minutes he could feel her breath slow down and he knew she was asleep. Her presence calmed him down and he felt the sedatives finally kicking in; it wasn't long before Callen also fell to sleep.

* * *

Sam stared at Callen as he slept, he had never seen his partner like this, sensitive and calmly asleep. Callen was known for keeping his emotions 'close to the vest' and for his chronic insomnia; he never slept for more than an hour or two at a time and he was often found 'catnapping' at his desk at work. Sam wouldn't believe how quiet his friend was, he had seen him sleeping on the couch at work and he knew he often slept there. G was always rolling around and muttering in his sleep, Sam was often worried about the nightmares he seemed to suffer through, but G had never spoken about them and Sam doubted he would for a long time.

"Hetty?" Nate had finally spoken; the room had been silent since Callen had fallen asleep that Sam and Hetty both jumped a little at the sudden sound.

"When Johnson had Callen on the floor and he was unconscious, what was it that you said to him?" Nate spoke cautiously, he was careful in case it had been private, but Hetty didn't mind sharing at all.

"Wake up my son, you have not finished yet. You still have to find your name and your family and you can't break your promise to Kerry." Sam smiled, it wasn't surprising that Callen had come to after Hetty's words; she had only told him what he needed to remember to stay alive.

"Do you think he would have woken up if you hadn't said anything?" Sam asked, curious.

"I don't know Mr Hanna; I don't think we ever will."

"He would have died if he hadn't been able to get free, I still don't know how he did it but we couldn't have saved him." Sam's voice broke and Nate put a hand on his shoulder.

"You don't know that Sam, besides, it wouldn't have been your fault if that had been the case. Callen knows what he is doing – at least half of the time – and he understands the risks he takes every single day. He would not allow you to blame yourself." Sam felt a little better after that, but he couldn't cope with the idea that he couldn't save his partner, that he couldn't have stopped Johnson from killing him. Then Sam remembered that G had whispered something before he passed out.

"Hetty, he whispered something in Romanian before he blacked out, what did he say?" Hetty looked at Callen asleep on the bed with a sad look on her face.

"I'm sorry momma, I failed you again." Hetty looked like she was about to cry, his words had really hurt her, and they hurt Sam too.

"I'm gonna kill him when he wakes up." Sam growled, which made Hetty and Nate laugh, now all they had to do was wait for their friend to wake up.


	10. Chapter 10

When Callen finally awoke it was light outside the hospital window. How long had he been asleep? It felt like hours, but he couldn't have slept for that long. Callen felt his arm was numb and looked only to find Kerry still snuggled up beside him on the bed. His one arm was underneath her and had gone dead it had been there that long. Looking around the room, Callen was also surprised to find Sam asleep in the chair beside him and Nate the same on a chair in the corner.

What didn't surprise him was that Hetty stood beside his head and smiled down at him, she was always there when he needed her, especially in hospital. She was the one person he had always known he could count on, although now he decided to add the rest of his team to that list. Even Nate was included, Callen knew Nate had been on an important, deep cover operation and about to fly back out to the Middle East, but for some reason he had come straight back to help out - maybe Hetty had dragged him back. Callen would never admit to liking and trusting Nate as much as he did; he was a shrink after all and he had once sworn never to trust or speak to one of them again. Perhaps he would make an exception for Nate - if he was having a good day.

"G?" Callen smiled up at Hetty; she never used his letter in public, she wanted to keep things formal and professional, but he had heard her through the earpiece.

"Hetty?" He whispered, still feeling slightly groggy. "How long have I been out of it?" He asked, expecting her to say maybe six or seven hours at the very most.

"I don't know exactly, I'd guess approximately thirteen hours." Callen stared at her wide-eyed with his mouth hanging open, he had never slept for that long - no wonder he felt funny.

"You haven't been here the whole time have you?" He asked, worried that Hetty hadn't gotten enough sleep.

"No, I most certainly haven't. I left Sam here with you and went home to shower and had a few hours sleep, Nate also did the same as I have offered him my spare room for a few nights. When we returned, we knew you wouldn't wake up for a few hours yet, so we sent Sam home to see his wife and kids. He must have only had two hours sleep, he came straight back here and fell asleep at your side." Callen smiled, he knew how lucky he was to have Sam as both his partner and his best friend, he also knew that he would have done the same had their places been reversed.

"What about Kerry?" He asked, it didn't look like she had moved an inch.

"She woke up in the evening and the doctors took her for some tests, we should get the results back in the next few hours. She had half a sandwich and some water, before promptly falling asleep on your bed again. She has been through a lot G - not unlike yourself - and needs plenty of rest in order to recover. But I think she will be fine, she has you after all, I think she has taken as much of a liking to you as you have to her."

"What?" Callen pulled a face at Hetty, but she knew him too well.

"There aren't many people you would allow to sleep beside you and hug you. Perhaps she is why you slept so well; you didn't have a single nightmare the whole time." Callen's eyes widened again, that hadn't happened in many years. But he couldn't deny the fact that Kerry's presence calmed him and made him feel safe and loved. He had to admit to himself that he liked her, really liked her.

* * *

Sam heard the sound of hushed voices and opened his eyes to see G and Hetty muttering to eachother, obviously trying to be quiet so as not to wake up the others.

"G?" Sam whispered, careful not to disturb Kerry. "How you feeling man?" G smiled and nodded.

"Good, still can't believe I slept for so long. How's Michelle and the kids?" Sam rolled his eyes, G was always taking the spotlight off himself and changing the conversation topic.

"They're fine and they say to get well soon. The kids want their Uncle Callen to get better so he can play football next week." He hadn't seen his partner so relaxed for a long time, if ever. He agreed with Hetty - it was all to do with Kerry.

* * *

"Callen?" Nate had just woken up and he looked as tired as Sam and even Hetty, Callen was still confused as to why Nate had been dragged back here by Hetty. "Callen?" Callen looked up at Nate, he had been too busy trying to think of reasons for why he was there and he hadn't noticed him trying to get his attention. Nate looked worried so Callen smiled to calm him down - although he didn't seem to believe him.

"Nate?" Callen whispered, he didn't want to disturb Kerry but he could sense that she was about to wake up.

"Nothing Callen." Nate sounded conflicted but Callen didn't feel like talking to him right then, he was too focused on Kerry as her eyes fluttered open.

"Gabriel?" Kerry sounded half asleep, but when he laughed she woke up and wrapped her arms around him like he had all those years ago. "Are you going to be okay?" She asked.

"Of course I am, you don't need to worry about me. Are you going to alright?" Callen was well aware of the others watching them, but he found he really didn't care; all that mattered to him was that Kerry was okay.

"Yeah, they took me for some tests while you slept but I don't know what they wanted to check out. This is the second time you ended up in hospital because of me Gabriel, I feel awful. I'm really sorry." Kerry started crying and Callen wrapped his arms around her - as painful as it was - but he was scared, he had no idea what he was doing.

* * *

Sam couldn't help but smile at his partner, he looked so lost at Kerry's tears but Sam couldn't help him - Sam was just as bad as G when it came to girls and crying.

"It is not your fault Kerry, it's mine if anyone's and I've been in hospital plenty of other times. They weren't your fault, they were mostly down to my own mistakes. Even if this had been your fault - which it isn't - there are few people I would be happy to be here for." Hetty smiled at Sam and the three of them left the room, but Nate looked conflicted and was obviously unsure about saying something.

"Nate?" Sam asked, causing the psychologist to jump. "What is it?" But Nate shook his head.

"Nothing, besides… it's not for me to say." Sam's eyes narrowed and Hetty looked thoughtful.

"Is this about G?" Sam asked and Nate's slight nod said it was.

"Please tell us what is on your mind Nate, I need to know if something is bothering you about Mr Callen." Hetty stared Nate down and he eventually gave in with a sigh.

"I don't know what, but something is really bothering Callen. He put it out of his mind as soon as Kerry woke up but he was looking at me weirdly, he looked confused Hetty - like he was trying desperately to figure something out but couldn't."

"Go and talk to him then!" Sam exclaimed, but Nate shook his head.

"No, not yet. I don't want to talk to him in this sort of environment, he needs to be somewhere he feels safe or he won't talk. We all know he's going to discharge himself in the next day or two, as soon as he is able, I'll talk to him at the boatshed. But… I have the feeling that in some way, it involves everyone, the whole team. Maybe you should all be there to here it too."


	11. Chapter 11

It had been three days since Callen had left the hospital, with every doctor telling him he should stay put - it was only the one that had recognised him and Hetty that had kept quiet. But he had patched up Callen before so he must have remembered that he wouldn't stick around for long.

Hetty had banned him from the office and forced him to 'rest' - whatever that was supposed to mean - but he had spent all his time with Kerry. The doctors had given her the all clear and let her go the same day he had walked out, so she was fine. Even if she was always fussing around him, the strange thing was Callen really didn't mind. He had contemplated shooting Sam before when he had tried to look after him after being shot, but Kerry's presence only calmed Callen and made him happy. She was staying with him for a while - although secretly, he hoped she would stay for a lot longer than that.

Callen was watching Kerry drive off down the road when he heard his phone buzz from inside; she was going home for the day to sort out the funeral and her aunt's house. Callen was going to miss her, even though she would probably be home before midnight.

_Boatshed -H_

The text was from Hetty and was rather direct, was something wrong? Callen was happy to be headed back to work, even if it was only the boatshed - it was where he had always felt most normal, with friends.

He arrived at the boatshed within thirty minutes, well aware that he had likely broken the speed limit a couple of times. But Hetty wasn't there, he looked in all the rooms but no one was around, even the loft was empty. Then the phone rang and it was one of the junior technical operators, where was Eric?

"Hetty would like you to wait in room one." Then she put the phone down, Callen was tempted to wait where he was but he knew better than to defy Hetty. So he took his place in the main interrogation room.

Was he in some kind of trouble? Was he being questioned? Why would Hetty want him in there?

Callen perched on the edge of the desk; his side made it too painful to sit down.

* * *

Nate and the others entered the boatshed after Callen went to wait in the interrogation room, he was really worried about how Callen was going to react but this hadn't quite been his idea. The team took their seats at the large table and sat staring at the screen as Callen paced the small room, they watched as he tried to sit down but stood back up with a wince.

"Hetty, I'm not sure if this is a good idea." Nate said, worried.

"No need to worry Mr Getz, Mr Callen will be fine." Hetty sounded certain but Nate could see the worry in her eyes. She handed him a earpiece before he went to talk to Callen, she wanted to be able to talk to Nate and hopefully keep Callen in the dark about them listening.

Nate took a deep breath before he stepped inside the room; he knew Callen wasn't going to be happy. As he had expected, the second the door closed behind him and Callen looked up, he looked momentarily confused.

"Nate? I thought Hetty…" Nate just looked at Callen, who realised what Hetty wanted and he was angry. Callen pushed past Nate and went to open the door, but Sam had locked it from the outside and he had the only key.

"Callen, why don't you take a seat?" He motioned to the chairs but Callen shook his head.

"Let me out." He growled, Nate refused. "I'm not asking Nate, let me out."

"I don't have the key Callen." Nate sat down in a chair and waited for Callen to speak.

"This isn't happening." The agent said eventually. "How many times do I have to tell you that? I don't want to talk to you! I don't _need_ to talk to you!" Nate held his nerve, although he was pretty damn scared; Callen was furious, that much was obvious to everyone but he could also see that he was afraid of something.

"That's fine, I know you don't want a psych-evaluation and that isn't what's happening here. Quite frankly, at the moment I don't care if you want to talk to me or not, or if you need to or not. I want to ask you something and I want an honest answer." Callen glared at Nate from his position leaning on the desk and thought through it calmly.

"Fine, you ask me whatever you want. I'm not going to guarantee you any answers, but ask away." Callen folded his arms across his chest and frowned at the wooden floor, he was frustrated and annoyed but there seemed to be an element of caution in his actions.

* * *

Callen couldn't believe this, they were forcing him to talk to Nate, well he knew it wasn't going to work. He could easily out wait all of them - although Nate had seemed genuine when he said that it wasn't an evaluation. Callen waited as Nate tried to word his questions correctly.

"Have I done something to upset you?" Callen immediately looked up at Nate, he was serious. Why would he think Callen was upset with him?

"No, why?" He asked, very confused.

"When we were at the hospital, before Kerry woke up, you seemed really confused. When you looked at me, you looked conflicted and were obviously trying to figure something out. I just want you to talk to me... what did I do?" Callen remembered that, he was still trying to figure it out. But how could he say that to Nate? It would show all his insecurities that he spent every moment keeping hidden behind his mask.

"I was just confused, I'd only just woken up. It was nothing to do with you, it was nothing." But Callen should have known Nate wouldn't believe that. "It was nothing! Can I go now?"

"Callen, just talk to me about this. I don't understand." Nate pleaded, but Callen couldn't say it.

"It was nothing!" Callen roared. "How many times? I was tired! I had just been stabbed! Of course I was confused, of course I was acting weird!" Nate stepped back and looked hurt but Callen couldn't apologise to him.

"So you admit you were acting strange. You are denying it too much Callen, just explain to me why you looked at me like a stranger. That's all I want to know!"

"No! Nate, stop asking me these questions!" Callen was panicking and his heart was racing.

"I just want you to tell me one thing!" Nate shouted back, getting frustrated himself.

"I wanted to know why!" Callen shouted in Nate's face, before backing away with his hands over his mouth. He had said too much, his temper had gotten the best of him again. Nate was silent, he just looked at Callen.

"Why what?" He asked gently and Callen ran his hands through his short hair, he was tired and had no energy left for arguments.

"Why you came back…" Callen whispered, hoping Nate hadn't heard, although he couldn't not have.

* * *

Nate opened his mouth and closed it again, he didn't really know what to say to Callen. "What do you mean?" He asked.

Callen sighed. "I know you were in the middle of an important case, you were supposed to fly out to the middle east that night. Why did you leave the case to come back here?" Callen looked defeated and lost as his mask started to slip, exposing the insecure man underneath.

"I came back because this is more important." Nate said.

"But it isn't; that makes no sense. Your mission would have saved lives and you came here instead."

"Callen, there were other people who are just as capable as me that could go. I sent them instead because this is more important to me. This team is and always has been my priority. That includes you. When Hetty told me that she was worried about you and that you had gone and gotten drunk, I told my boss I was coming straight here. This team is like family to me, including you Callen." Nate's words were true and he could see Callen sensed that.

"I had hoped that was why, but I couldn't ask you." Callen said.

"Why?"

"This team is the closest thing I have ever had to a family, I couldn't stand the thought that they would think I am weak. I can't help it, I never let myself get my hopes up about people caring because they always seem to let me down eventually. Hetty is the only one that never has - the team too but I haven't known them as long.

* * *

Callen couldn't believe he was even talking to Nate about this, he had broken his childhood vow. He was trusting and talking to a shrink.

"I understand that, but I promise you they don't think you are weak. They wouldn't think that whatever you asked them, whatever you said. You are their leader and they will follow you." Nate sounded very certain, Callen contained a smile as he asked Nate a question.

"How could you know? You don't know what they would think." Nate looked flustered and went quiet for a moment.

"I…uh. Well… of course they wouldn't. They are your team." He finally managed to put together.

"Oh alright." Callen smiled. "Nothing to do with the earwig then?" Nate half-smiled nervously and looked down at the ground. Callen turned and looked up into the camera with a sad and crooked smile.

"So, while you're in the sharing mood. What did you mean when you asked the others if you would see them the next day?" Callen was confused, he didn't even remember that conversation. When had he asked that?

"I…um. I was just asking if I would see them the next day." Callen held his mask firmly in place.

"Callen, do you even remember that conversation?" Nate asked, Callen knew he wouldn't leave him alone until he told the truth so he had no choice.

"No." He conceded as he eased himself into a chair, painfully. Nate came and knelt beside him with an understanding expression.

"You had suffered serious head trauma, you had a severe concussion and you were lucky to escape with only that. Callen, you don't have to talk to me but please don't lie to me. When you asked the team you sounded worried and careful, like you were afraid of something." It was only then that Callen faintly recalled the moment.

"I… I don't know how to say it." He admitted to Nate.

"Were you scared that they weren't going to come back and see you? That they would leave you alone? We saw how surprised you were each time you woke up and weren't alone, or whenever someone else walked in." Callen was defeated, Nate finally knew his biggest insecurity, that he had spent years masking from everyone that he loved. Callen nodded to Nate and put his head in his hands, his headaches were getting more and more intense and they hardly ever stopped.

"Callen? Are you alright?" Callen swatted away Nate's hand, pulling all his walls back up instantly.

"I'm fine." He hissed, sucking in a breath as he tried to stand up and his side burned in pain.

"I asked you not to lie to me Callen." Nate whispered, hurt and Callen sat back down again.

"Then I won't be talking at all Nate." Then the door swung open with Sam stood in the doorway. Nate nodded and left as Sam came over to Callen before offering his hand. "I'm not going to hold your hand Sam." Callen joked, laughing to cover the gasp he had let loose.

"Good, I'd rather you didn't. Let me help you back outside G, you can't sit here forever." Callen rolled his eyes at Sam, he would have asked Sam for help if he wasn't so proud.

"I'm fine, I'm not going home Sam. I can't stare at those walls any longer and I can't sleep anyway, can I come back to the office? I swear I'll just sit on the couch and be good." Sam laughed as his partner pulled himself to his feet with a grimace and held his hand on his good shoulder as they walked out the interrogation room. Sam held Callen's shoulder so tightly that he couldn't have fallen or slipped even if he had wanted to.

The whole team was sitting around the table waiting - save Hetty who was standing behind Deeks. Callen looked to Hetty and she knew what he wanted, what he needed.

"Mr Callen, you may come back to the office but you are not permitted to go into the field or do anything other than assist your team from Ops. Do you understand?" Callen nodded with a grateful smile and let Sam escort him to the Challenger.

Callen slept on the couch at Ops for the next couple of nights, even though he was only out for an hour or so at a time. But he wouldn't have gotten any sleep at all had he stayed at home; he couldn't even let Kerry help him sleep with her away for a few days.

He was desperate for her to come home.


	12. Chapter 12

_**6 months later...**_

Callen couldn't think straight, he felt like something bad was going to happen, but he had no idea what would go wrong or why he thought it would. He was on a stake out with Sam but there had been no movement for three hours and whilst his eyes never left the front door of the apartment building, his mind was on other things.

"G?" Callen looked up at Sam, surprised at the sudden sound; the car had been silent for at least half an hour. "Where's your head at man?" Callen turned to look out the window, unsure of how to answer. "Here…" Sam said, offering Callen a Tootsie Pop. Callen shook his head at his partner and stared back at the door. "G!" Sam snapped.

"What?" Callen snapped back, instantly regretting his tone at the hurt and confused expression on his partner's face. "I'm sorry Sam, I just… something ain't right."

"Talk to me then G, don't start this again." Callen bit his lip, aware that his partner would certainly think he was being paranoid and crazy, but Sam was right; he couldn't start being so closed off again, not after everything that had happened.

"I feel like something bad is going to happen, I don't know why and I don't know what, but something. I know I'm being ridiculous but I can't help it." Callen looked at his best friend, bracing himself for the answer he was sure he would receive.

"You must have some idea G, who are you worried about?" Sam looked concerned and Callen worried that his partner now doubted his state of mind.

* * *

Sam practically knew what G was going to say in answer to his question, he knew who he worried about over all others. Sam also knew why Callen had been reluctant to speak; he thought Sam would laugh at him and tell him not to worry, but G was wrong.

"Kerry." G whispered, his voice wavering slightly; which meant that he was seriously worried. Sam picked up his phone and text the LAPD team that sat a few streets away, they could take over.

"Ok, let's go." He said, Callen's head shot up to look at Sam, unsure of what he meant.

"Are you taking me to see Nate?" Callen whispered. Sam snorted.

"If I was, would you talk to him?" His partner shook his head but there was no trademark smirk – G was really afraid for Kerry.

"Hetty?" Sam shook his head. "Where are we going Sam?" G sounded nervous.

"I'm taking you to find Kerry." G stared at Sam confused.

"Why?" Sam could see how lost his partner was; he had never expected that reaction.

"G, I trust your instincts and your abilities more than my own. I can see how worried you are, so we are going to make sure Kerry is okay and that this is the first time you have ever been wrong about something like this." G looked at his partner gratefully with a smile, only just seeming to comprehend how much he needed Sam, how much Sam understood him and how much he could rely on not just him, but his team too.

"Sam?" G whispered, Sam looked at him as they pulled away, allowing the undercover police car to take their place. "Can we get there soon?" Callen was desperate and had finally asked him for help, so Sam would happily break every speed limit along the way – and face Hetty when they returned to the office. "I'm gonna call the others." G said, grabbing his phone.

Sam sped down the interstate at a dangerous speed, but he found himself getting more and more panicked as they neared Callen's neighbourhood. He felt something was wrong too.

* * *

"You feel it too don't you?" Callen asked Sam, as they turned down road only streets away from Callen's house. He had seen his partner's demeanour change in the last few minutes; he had become more agitated and was driving more erratically than Callen had ever seen him drive - excluding when they were on a serious mission.

"Yeah" Sam whispered the word but it hung in the air like a dark cloud, they both had the feeling that today wasn't going to go well. The partners pulled up outside Callen's house but Sam couldn't stop his friend from running straight up the driveway with his gun in his hand. Sam followed suit; Callen was aware of his presence but too scared of the door that had been kicked in. Callen glanced up at Sam with wide eyes, before Sam kicked in the remainder of the door and watched his partner rush in.

"Mr Callen, Mr Hanna?" Both agents spun to see Hetty sat on his sofa with a cup of tea. She looked quite at home and comfortable, but there was a worry in her eyes that only Callen could see.

"Hetty? Please… no…" he gasped, as Sam took his shoulder and kept him steady on his feet. Then Kensi and Deeks rushed in, guns at the ready before coming to a halt as they took in Hetty on the couch.

"Callen?" Deeks and Kensi both asked cautiously; also worried for Kerry's safety; the team had come to like and trust Kerry - partly for her part in Callen's past and also because of who she was at present.

"Gabriel!" A cry of joy came from the top of the stairs, as Kerry bounded down to wrap her arms around Callen and then kissed him in front of the whole team. Callen glanced at the others and shook off his embarrassment.

"Hetty, what happened?" He asked, much to the team's confusion.

"Mr Beale has been taken." Sam's eyebrows rose and the other agents were as stunned. How? Why Eric?

"Was Ops breached?" Sam asked, as Hetty shook her head.

"Where was he when he was taken?" Callen asked, already knowing the answer. His front door had been broken and his instincts bothering him; where else could Eric have been?

"Here Mr Callen, I sent him to install the cameras for you."

* * *

Sam watched his partner sink to his knees, G rocked back to lean against the wall and he was obviously conflicted. G had been worried for Kerry's safety and while he was relieved that she was okay, he was now afraid for Eric. Kerry placed a hand on G's shoulder but he shook her off and jumped to his feet. His mask was back in place and he was once again the team leader.

"So why would they want Eric?" He asked, looking around at the team for answers and ideas.

"Someone from a case?" Deeks suggested.

"An enemy?" Kensi asked, looking to Hetty for answers.

"I am not aware that Mr Beale has any particular enemies, he may have played a part in all our cases, but none of them knew him or would try something like this." Hetty was right, Sam agreed with her and Callen obviously did too.

"So that only leaves three options." G said, to the confusion of the others.

"Three?" Deeks asked.

"They wanted a hacker, so they took the best. Maybe they wanted to get to us and he was the easiest target. If not, it must be someone who knows or knew him personally." Sam nodded in agreement with his partner's deductions. "I am inclined to go with the latter, although it could be because he is a hacker."

"G, we need Nell on this." G nodded to Sam and finally turned to Kerry.

"I need you to tell me what happened here, exactly." Kerry nodded with tears in her eyes; G took her to sit on the sofa and held her hands as she began to recall the event."

* * *

Callen held his breath as Kerry spoke, he was cataloguing every word she said and analysing everything but he also kept part of his mind focused on her; he noted her emotions and was prepared to stop her the second she showed any signs of severe distress.

"Eric was installing the cameras and then we heard a car door slam outside, I didn't think anything of it but Eric ran to the window and peered around the curtain. He said there were four men with guns and they were coming towards the house. I grabbed the gun from the back of the sofa but Eric took it and sent me upstairs, he told me to call Hetty and not to come down until she came to get me." Kerry was trying desperately to keep herself calm enough to finish explaining, that was why Callen kept his distance; he knew if he touched her or if she looked at him, she would break down - he always did.

"When I was upstairs I called Hetty and she drove straight here, she was on the other end of the phone the whole time, so was Nell. Only a minute or so after I locked myself in Gabriel's room, I heard gunshots downstairs. I didn't know who was shooting who, but I couldn't look; Eric had told me not to and Hetty and Nell did too. I was scared…" Kerry finally looked at Callen and he smiled, before wrapping his arms around her and stroking her hair while she cried. The team was silent as they watched their team leader and his girlfriend; they had never seen him like that with anyone else and it was nice. But they were worried about Eric, what was going on?

"Can Eric even shoot a gun?" Sam asked. "I've never seen him hold one let alone fire at someone." Callen smirked at that, he had taught Eric to shoot himself - although he hadn't been a bad shot beforehand.

"He sure can Sam…" Callen said, surprising the others. Then Hetty piped up.

"Mr Callen, I suggest you take your team to the kitchen." Callen knew from her tone what he would find, Hetty sounded both proud and tired - it always weighed heavily on her mind when one of her team was in danger. Callen knew that better than anyone else.

* * *

Sam was shocked to learn that Eric could shoot, but he realised he had never asked. It only then occurred to him that he hadn't really had a proper conversation with the technical operator, ever. They had made brief small talk and obviously talked about cases, but they had never gotten to know eachother. Sam decided that when they had their friend back, things would change.

A dead body lay on G's kitchen floor, blood smeared across the linoleum and across two of the walls. The man had been killed by to shots to the chest; at least Eric had gone down fighting.

"He hit two." G said, confusing the team.

"Two what?" Kensi asked glancing at Deeks, who shrugged.

"Eric killed this man and then shot a second, he is injured but not dead - not when they left anyway. The man has lost a lot of blood, but not necessarily a fatal amount."

"How the bloody hell do you know that?" Sam asked his partner, slightly irritated that his brain seemed to have stopped functioning. How did G keep his cool? How was G so calm? Sam always found it frustrating when his partner showed no emotion when it came to the team. If it hadn't been for the brief glance of his emotions, the team would doubt their leader's state of mind. Sam still did slightly.

"Because this man is dead – two gunshot wounds. Another two shots were fired from my gun, one hit the wall and has embedded itself there, and the other is missing. But there is a second blood smear on this wall that could not have been caused by this man. One there is too much blood for it all to have for from him, two it's on the other side of the room and is consistent with where a second intruder would have likely been standing." G stopped and picked up an enemy bullet, seemingly not even thinking about Eric. Then Callen turned to Sam and rolled his eyes.

"Spit it out Sam!" G snapped at his partner.

"What?" Sam growled back. Kensi and Deeks both back towards the door but didn't leave, they hadn't seen Sam and Callen argue before. Sam wasn't sure they had ever had a proper argument that had ended badly or not been resolved within 24 hours.

"Whatever is distracting you from the case! Ever since we came in here, you haven't stopped looking at me, watching me! It's like you're waiting for something. You obviously have something to say, so say it!" G was angry but Sam was pretty pissed too.

"I'm waiting for you to care G! I'm waiting for you to show one tiny piece of emotion! This isn't a case, it's our friend! Do you actually give a damn what happens to this team?"


	13. Chapter 13

Callen stared at Sam; he couldn't believe his partner had just said those things. How could Sam doubt his feelings for his team? Callen would happily die for any of them, he wouldn't even question it. Sam had always known him better than most, except Hetty of course - so how could h doubt him now? Callen had no idea what to say to Sam, his anger had left him and been replaced with hurt. So Callen turned around and left, he stormed out into the back garden and sat on the grass, alone.

"Gabriel?" Kerry's soft voice almost brought a smile to Callen's lips, but he was so hurt by Sam's words that he couldn't bring himself to smile. He was reinforcing all his mental walls and barriers as much as he could, fearful that they would all come crashing down and weaken him.

"Gabriel, you need to talk to me. You should talk to Sam too, I understand this is how you deal with stuff but he needs to know that too." Kerry sat down beside Callen and kissed his forehead, before bringing his gaze up to her eyes. But he would not look at her.

"I'm sorry Kerry… I can talk to you but Sam is different. I thought he knew me, as much as anyone does. How could he think that? I love the team more than anything, they are my family. I don't have one of my own to compare but I think I love them as much as I would my family, if not more." Callen wanted to look at Kerry; her beautiful face and her kind smile would make him feel better, but it would open the floodgates too.

"Look at me Gabriel." Callen could no longer resist, not when she asked him like that. He slowly looked at her and tears began to flow down his cheeks; she was the only one apart from Hetty that had ever seen him cry. "You need to do this sometimes, otherwise everything builds up inside and it all comes out at once. I know you don't want to feel weak in front of your team but you are strong and everyone has to cry sometime." Kerry held Callen in her arms where he felt safest, he felt a little better but still didn't know what to do about Sam.

"I don't know how to fix this." Callen admitted.

"All you need to do is think, carefully. What is Sam's problem? What is your problem? What is the truth? Once you can answer those questions, just talk to Sam; he will listen and he will understand. He may even talk to you." Kerry was so wise for a woman of her years, but she had seen a lot in her life; more than anyone should have to witness.

"That's easy; I can answer those now. It's just talking to Sam that's hard; neither of us are emotionally open people. He might not want to listen."

"You know that isn't true. He has often offered to listen to you, has he not? He has expressed an interest in your past and wants you to tell him everything." She was right, again. But Callen was still unsure. "Could you tell me first? Then you could sort it out with Sam." Kerry suggested and Callen agreed.

* * *

Sam had walked out to talk to G and had found Kerry sitting beside him on the grass. He had turned to leave them alone but Kerry had motioned for him to come closer and wait. Then she told him to be quiet. What really worried him was that G hadn't even noticed Sam approach; usually he would have bolted upright at the sound of the grass moving.

He heard his partner agree to tell Kerry first and Kerry gave Sam a look to tell him to stay put and stay quiet. So he did.

"Sam's problem is that he thinks I have no emotions and don't really care about the team." It hurt Sam to hear the pain in G's voice as he spoke; he had never meant to hurt his partner, his best friend. He had been frustrated and had acted both recklessly and cruelly. Would G ever trust him again?

"My problem is that Sam doesn't trust me and doubts how much I care for everyone; how much I love them all."

"Ok, now what is your truth?" Kerry asked, with a hand still tightly gripped by Callen. "Why do you act the way you do? Why are you withdrawn?" G took a deep breath, steadying himself for whatever he was going to say.

"I have to be. If I allow my emotions to cloud my mind, my judgement will be compromised. I would no longer be able to do my job and would endanger both the mission and my team. My enemies could see my weakness and exploit it, they are all I have - apart from you Kerry - and I don't know how I would live without them. They are the family I never had and I love them as I would have my siblings. I count Sam, Deeks and Eric as my brothers. Kensi and Nell are like my little sisters. I would die for them and I will one day die with them, even Sam's family are like my own. It hurts me to hear that he thinks I don't care, when I do nothing else but care and worry about them all." Sam was choked up; he had never heard G sound so sincere and so open. He had never heard anyone speak about their friends so dearly and it broke his heart that he had hurt his best friend. Sam hated himself for it.

"G?" Sam whispered, causing his partner to spin around with wide eyes and leap to his feet. G backed away seemingly afraid of Sam, scared that he had heard him. G looked more lost than he ever had before.

* * *

Callen was afraid; was Sam still angry with him? How much had he heard?

"Sam…" But Sam cut him off and started walking towards him, Callen was torn between thinking that Sam was going to hit him or hug him. Callen held his ground and his breath as his partner stopped in front of him, then before he could react, his partner's arms were around him and Callen knew they would be alright.

"Don't G, I never meant what I said. I know that you would die for us and I would for you too, I also know that this is how you deal with things, I am sorry that I doubted you. I never realised how much you cared for us, I have never seen you cry G." Callen wasn't sure how to respond, he looked to Kerry but she just smiled. Then she mouthed one word to him Truth.

"Listen Sam, I know you want me to tell you everything, but there simply isn't enough time for that. There are some things even I won't think about, but I will tell you what I can. I trust you all and I love you as my family, I just can't let myself feel anything until this is all over; I could get one of you killed. I didn't even notice you come out here." Sam nodded and smiled as Callen wiped his tears away with a frown, annoyed that his partner had seen him so weak. "You go back inside Sam; I'll just be a minute." Callen couldn't go back in there until he had collected himself and was the strong team leader again.

"No G, you're coming with me, right now." Callen looked up at the Seal, confused and wary. "I know exactly what you're thinking, but this will be good for you and for them." Sam then grabbed Callen's arm and started dragging him across the garden.

* * *

"Sam! Get off me!" Hetty had been watching the pair through the window and she saw Callen's face as Sam dragged him towards the back door. He looked like a deer caught in the headlights. Deeks and Kensi looked up in surprise as they heard their team leader's raised voice. "Sam, I'm seriously gonna shoot you in a minute! Let me go! Please Sam…" It pained Hetty to hear the desperation and fear in her favourite agent's voice, but Sam was right – they all needed this. Hetty walked to the entrance to the room just as Sam pulled his partner inside.

"Mr Callen, please stop struggling." At Hetty's request Callen stopped – an old reaction that made him obey her without hesitation. Before he knew it, the team leader was stood staring at the rest of his team; even Nell had turned up, desperate for answers.

* * *

_Damn it._ Callen's body had betrayed him again; he had obeyed Hetty before her instruction had even registered in his mind. He glared at Hetty and Sam, before turning his gaze to the floor.

"Callen, have you been crying?" Kensi asked gently.

"No!" Callen snapped, before sighing and glancing up at Kensi and Deeks. "I guess…" he whispered.

"Are you alright now?" Deeks asked and Callen nodded, before bringing his walls back up and taking a deep breath.

"We don't have time for this, we need to work this case and get Eric back. We need it done now." They all followed and started picking apart the crime scene, which also happened to be Callen's home. Then Hetty came over to him with a query that the others had wanted to ask, but had been afraid to.

"Mr Callen, where did Kerry get the gun from?" Callen smirked at Hetty and walked to the sofa, he pulled the back cushion away to reveal a small incision in the cover. The gun had been hidden in the perfect place for it to go unnoticed and be easily reached. "And how many other weapons do you have hidden around your home?" Hetty smiled with a knowing glint in her eye.

"A few" Callen said – they had no idea. Even Hetty would be surprised; and her own house was well stocked with emergency weapons.

* * *

"There's nothing here Callen…" Deeks whined, Sam was starting to agree with the irritating detective and he guessed Kensi was too, but none of them wanted to argue with G about it.

"There is, somewhere. There has to be…" Sam knew his partner would search all day, turning his house upside down but he couldn't see it being of any use. They had been looking and thinking for over an hour and nothing had come to light. Then Callen stopped and took the team back into the front room, where Nell waited with Hetty.

"Have you found something?" Nell asked desperately.

"No, but I know there is something to find. We are going to have to try a more unconventional method." Sam awaited an explanation; he was lost and completely confused. "We need your help Nell." He said, Nell raised an eyebrow but said she would do anything to find Eric.

"Ok, Hetty could you sit on the sofa and pretend you aren't there at all?" Hetty nodded and sat down, scarily blending into the couch. "Sam, Deeks, Kensi and… Nate!" The team looked out the window just in time to see Nate pull up to the house before G dragged the confused psychologist inside. "Nate, have you been briefed?" G asked.

"Yeah, Hetty explained over the phone. What is going on?" He asked, as intrigued as Sam was.

"Ok, you stick with the team. We're re-enacting Eric's abduction. You four are the intruders." G pointed at Kensi and Deeks, Sam and Nate. "Kerry will be herself, I'll be Eric and Nell, I need you to think for Eric. Hetty, you aren't here at all."

"Callen? I really don't understand what you mean." Nell said, but Sam now understood the idea, as did Nate and Kensi - Sam had no idea if Deeks or it not, but did he ever?

"You know Eric better than any of us and you know how he thinks, you even think the same sometimes. We just need you to try and work out what Eric would do as we to along, it may help us. I'm all out of ideas." Nell nodded to G and everyone was sent to their positions.

* * *

Callen stood beside Kerry and Nell in the living room and waited for it to begin. A car door signalled the start and Callen rushed to the window, as immersed in his mindset of Eric as he could get.

Looking out the window, Callen watched as his four tens members go out their car with guns at the ready. The car was parked exactly where the real men's had been, right by the tyre marks that had been left on the Tarmac. Kerry grabbed a gun from the sofa but Callen took it from her and sent her upstairs, exactly saying what Eric had said to Kerry originally. Then he looked to Nell.

"He was working with the cameras." Callen said to Nell, just as Sam knocked the back door - that was how long Eric had been allowed originally - and the four now waited for Callen to tell them to carry on. Nell started looking through the bag if cameras Eric had quickly shoved under the sofa - as Callen had redone - and stood up suddenly.

"There is one missing." She said and Callen nodded.

"So he did something with one of the cameras. Which one?" He asked.

"The small one he was going to put inside the clock on the mantelpiece." Callen looked at the clock and estimated the camera could only be five millimetres in diameter.

"Okay, well it isn't in here, we'd have found it." Callen said, mystified. Then he whistled for Sam to carry on.

Sam opened the door but made it look as if they had burst in, Callen aimed and Sam went down as if shot - the first victim. Then Nate pulled up beside Sam and Callen imagined he shot him. The wound was most likely to have been in the second victim's left shoulder; Nate's fall corresponded with their theory. But Kensi and Deeks had just 'broken down' the front door and had grabbed Callen from behind. Eric wouldn't have been able to defend himself and it seemed that he would most likely have been knocked unconscious - probably by a blow to the back of the head. Then everyone stopped.

"One more thing…" Callen said, just thinking. "Let's work out how he would have been taken outside." Sam was the first to speak.

"He was unconscious - presumably - and there were only four men in the first place. One was dead so they left him behind and one badly injured, who would probably have managed to stumble to the car. They'd have had to drag Eric; the two men couldn't have easily carried him out." Nate nodded.

"From the blood loss and probable shoulder injury, the second victim would have managed it to the car, but I doubt much further than that."

"Okay, so he was dragged. Let's follow the route." Callen said, so Sam and Deeks positioned themselves as if to drag Callen outside and they followed the exact path the original men would have needed to follow. They went out through the door and suddenly Callen called them to stop.

He reached down into the grass just outside the door and to the side and sure enough, he found the camera stuck the bottom of the outside wall, facing the direction the car had been in.

"Nell?" Callen handed the camera to the analyst and sent her back to Ops with Hetty.


	14. Chapter 14

Callen stared at Sam; he couldn't believe his partner had just said those things. How could Sam doubt his feelings for his team? Callen would happily die for any of them, he wouldn't even question it. Sam had always known him better than most, except Hetty of course - so how could h doubt him now? Callen had no idea what to say to Sam, his anger had left him and been replaced with hurt. So Callen turned around and left, he stormed out into the back garden and sat on the grass, alone.

"Gabriel?" Kerry's soft voice almost brought a smile to Callen's lips, but he was so hurt by Sam's words that he couldn't bring himself to smile. He was reinforcing all his mental walls and barriers as much as he could, fearful that they would all come crashing down and weaken him.

"Gabriel, you need to talk to me. You should talk to Sam too, I understand this is how you deal with stuff but he needs to know that too." Kerry sat down beside Callen and kissed his forehead, before bringing his gaze up to her eyes. But he would not look at her.

"I'm sorry Kerry… I can talk to you but Sam is different. I thought he knew me, as much as anyone does. How could he think that? I love the team more than anything, they are my family. I don't have one of my own to compare but I think I love them as much as I would my family, if not more." Callen wanted to look at Kerry; her beautiful face and her kind smile would make him feel better, but it would open the floodgates too.

"Look at me Gabriel." Callen could no longer resist, not when she asked him like that. He slowly looked at her and tears began to flow down his cheeks; she was the only one apart from Hetty that had ever seen him cry. "You need to do this sometimes, otherwise everything builds up inside and it all comes out at once. I know you don't want to feel weak in front of your team but you are strong and everyone has to cry sometime." Kerry held Callen in her arms where he felt safest, he felt a little better but still didn't know what to do about Sam.

"I don't know how to fix this." Callen admitted.

"All you need to do is think, carefully. What is Sam's problem? What is your problem? What is the truth? Once you can answer those questions, just talk to Sam; he will listen and he will understand. He may even talk to you." Kerry was so wise for a woman of her years, but she had seen a lot in her life; more than anyone should have to witness.

"That's easy; I can answer those now. It's just talking to Sam that's hard; neither of us are emotionally open people. He might not want to listen."

"You know that isn't true. He has often offered to listen to you, has he not? He has expressed an interest in your past and wants you to tell him everything." She was right, again. But Callen was still unsure. "Could you tell me first? Then you could sort it out with Sam." Kerry suggested and Callen agreed.

* * *

Sam had walked out to talk to G and had found Kerry sitting beside him on the grass. He had turned to leave them alone but Kerry had motioned for him to come closer and wait. Then she told him to be quiet. What really worried him was that G hadn't even noticed Sam approach; usually he would have bolted upright at the sound of the grass moving.

He heard his partner agree to tell Kerry first and Kerry gave Sam a look to tell him to stay put and stay quiet. So he did.

"Sam's problem is that he thinks I have no emotions and don't really care about the team." It hurt Sam to hear the pain in G's voice as he spoke; he had never meant to hurt his partner, his best friend. He had been frustrated and had acted both recklessly and cruelly. Would G ever trust him again?

"My problem is that Sam doesn't trust me and doubts how much I care for everyone; how much I love them all."

"Ok, now what is your truth?" Kerry asked, with a hand still tightly gripped by Callen. "Why do you act the way you do? Why are you withdrawn?" G took a deep breath, steadying himself for whatever he was going to say.

"I have to be. If I allow my emotions to cloud my mind, my judgement will be compromised. I would no longer be able to do my job and would endanger both the mission and my team. My enemies could see my weakness and exploit it, they are all I have - apart from you Kerry - and I don't know how I would live without them. They are the family I never had and I love them as I would have my siblings. I count Sam, Deeks and Eric as my brothers. Kensi and Nell are like my little sisters. I would die for them and I will one day die with them, even Sam's family are like my own. It hurts me to hear that he thinks I don't care, when I do nothing else but care and worry about them all." Sam was choked up; he had never heard G sound so sincere and so open. He had never heard anyone speak about their friends so dearly and it broke his heart that he had hurt his best friend. Sam hated himself for it.

"G?" Sam whispered, causing his partner to spin around with wide eyes and leap to his feet. G backed away seemingly afraid of Sam, scared that he had heard him. G looked more lost than he ever had before.

* * *

Callen was afraid; was Sam still angry with him? How much had he heard?

"Sam…" But Sam cut him off and started walking towards him, Callen was torn between thinking that Sam was going to hit him or hug him. Callen held his ground and his breath as his partner stopped in front of him, then before he could react, his partner's arms were around him and Callen knew they would be alright.

"Don't G, I never meant what I said. I know that you would die for us and I would for you too, I also know that this is how you deal with things, I am sorry that I doubted you. I never realised how much you cared for us, I have never seen you cry G." Callen wasn't sure how to respond, he looked to Kerry but she just smiled. Then she mouthed one word to him Truth.

"Listen Sam, I know you want me to tell you everything, but there simply isn't enough time for that. There are some things even I won't think about, but I will tell you what I can. I trust you all and I love you as my family, I just can't let myself feel anything until this is all over; I could get one of you killed. I didn't even notice you come out here." Sam nodded and smiled as Callen wiped his tears away with a frown, annoyed that his partner had seen him so weak. "You go back inside Sam; I'll just be a minute." Callen couldn't go back in there until he had collected himself and was the strong team leader again.

"No G, you're coming with me, right now." Callen looked up at the Seal, confused and wary. "I know exactly what you're thinking, but this will be good for you and for them." Sam then grabbed Callen's arm and started dragging him across the garden.

* * *

"Sam! Get off me!" Hetty had been watching the pair through the window and she saw Callen's face as Sam dragged him towards the back door. He looked like a deer caught in the headlights. Deeks and Kensi looked up in surprise as they heard their team leader's raised voice. "Sam, I'm seriously gonna shoot you in a minute! Let me go! Please Sam…" It pained Hetty to hear the desperation and fear in her favourite agent's voice, but Sam was right – they all needed this. Hetty walked to the entrance to the room just as Sam pulled his partner inside.

"Mr Callen, please stop struggling." At Hetty's request Callen stopped – an old reaction that made him obey her without hesitation. Before he knew it, the team leader was stood staring at the rest of his team; even Nell had turned up, desperate for answers.

* * *

_Damn it._ Callen's body had betrayed him again; he had obeyed Hetty before her instruction had even registered in his mind. He glared at Hetty and Sam, before turning his gaze to the floor.

"Callen, have you been crying?" Kensi asked gently.

"No!" Callen snapped, before sighing and glancing up at Kensi and Deeks. "I guess…" he whispered.

"Are you alright now?" Deeks asked and Callen nodded, before bringing his walls back up and taking a deep breath.

"We don't have time for this, we need to work this case and get Eric back. We need it done now." They all followed and started picking apart the crime scene, which also happened to be Callen's home. Then Hetty came over to him with a query that the others had wanted to ask, but had been afraid to.

"Mr Callen, where did Kerry get the gun from?" Callen smirked at Hetty and walked to the sofa, he pulled the back cushion away to reveal a small incision in the cover. The gun had been hidden in the perfect place for it to go unnoticed and be easily reached. "And how many other weapons do you have hidden around your home?" Hetty smiled with a knowing glint in her eye.

"A few" Callen said – they had no idea. Even Hetty would be surprised; and her own house was well stocked with emergency weapons.

* * *

"There's nothing here Callen…" Deeks whined, Sam was starting to agree with the irritating detective and he guessed Kensi was too, but none of them wanted to argue with G about it.

"There is, somewhere. There has to be…" Sam knew his partner would search all day, turning his house upside down but he couldn't see it being of any use. They had been looking and thinking for over an hour and nothing had come to light. Then Callen stopped and took the team back into the front room, where Nell waited with Hetty.

"Have you found something?" Nell asked desperately.

"No, but I know there is something to find. We are going to have to try a more unconventional method." Sam awaited an explanation; he was lost and completely confused. "We need your help Nell." He said, Nell raised an eyebrow but said she would do anything to find Eric.

"Ok, Hetty could you sit on the sofa and pretend you aren't there at all?" Hetty nodded and sat down, scarily blending into the couch. "Sam, Deeks, Kensi and… Nate!" The team looked out the window just in time to see Nate pull up to the house before G dragged the confused psychologist inside. "Nate, have you been briefed?" G asked.

"Yeah, Hetty explained over the phone. What is going on?" He asked, as intrigued as Sam was.

"Ok, you stick with the team. We're re-enacting Eric's abduction. You four are the intruders." G pointed at Kensi and Deeks, Sam and Nate. "Kerry will be herself, I'll be Eric and Nell, I need you to think for Eric. Hetty, you aren't here at all."

"Callen? I really don't understand what you mean." Nell said, but Sam now understood the idea, as did Nate and Kensi - Sam had no idea if Deeks or it not, but did he ever?

"You know Eric better than any of us and you know how he thinks, you even think the same sometimes. We just need you to try and work out what Eric would do as we to along, it may help us. I'm all out of ideas." Nell nodded to G and everyone was sent to their positions.

* * *

Callen stood beside Kerry and Nell in the living room and waited for it to begin. A car door signalled the start and Callen rushed to the window, as immersed in his mindset of Eric as he could get.

Looking out the window, Callen watched as his four tens members go out their car with guns at the ready. The car was parked exactly where the real men's had been, right by the tyre marks that had been left on the Tarmac. Kerry grabbed a gun from the sofa but Callen took it from her and sent her upstairs, exactly saying what Eric had said to Kerry originally. Then he looked to Nell.

"He was working with the cameras." Callen said to Nell, just as Sam knocked the back door - that was how long Eric had been allowed originally - and the four now waited for Callen to tell them to carry on. Nell started looking through the bag if cameras Eric had quickly shoved under the sofa - as Callen had redone - and stood up suddenly.

"There is one missing." She said and Callen nodded.

"So he did something with one of the cameras. Which one?" He asked.

"The small one he was going to put inside the clock on the mantelpiece." Callen looked at the clock and estimated the camera could only be five millimetres in diameter.

"Okay, well it isn't in here, we'd have found it." Callen said, mystified. Then he whistled for Sam to carry on.

Sam opened the door but made it look as if they had burst in, Callen aimed and Sam went down as if shot - the first victim. Then Nate pulled up beside Sam and Callen imagined he shot him. The wound was most likely to have been in the second victim's left shoulder; Nate's fall corresponded with their theory. But Kensi and Deeks had just 'broken down' the front door and had grabbed Callen from behind. Eric wouldn't have been able to defend himself and it seemed that he would most likely have been knocked unconscious - probably by a blow to the back of the head. Then everyone stopped.

"One more thing…" Callen said, just thinking. "Let's work out how he would have been taken outside." Sam was the first to speak.

"He was unconscious - presumably - and there were only four men in the first place. One was dead so they left him behind and one badly injured, who would probably have managed to stumble to the car. They'd have had to drag Eric; the two men couldn't have easily carried him out." Nate nodded.

"From the blood loss and probable shoulder injury, the second victim would have managed it to the car, but I doubt much further than that."

"Okay, so he was dragged. Let's follow the route." Callen said, so Sam and Deeks positioned themselves as if to drag Callen outside and they followed the exact path the original men would have needed to follow. They went out through the door and suddenly Callen called them to stop.

He reached down into the grass just outside the door and to the side and sure enough, he found the camera stuck the bottom of the outside wall, facing the direction the car had been in.

"Nell?" Callen handed the camera to the analyst and sent her back to Ops with Hetty.


	15. Chapter 15

Eric was momentarily confused when he woke up, he found himself on a chair in a dark room, with his hands cuffed behind him. Eric remembered what had happened and he knew whoever had come to the house had knocked him unconscious, he was certain that Kerry was safe; they had obviously taken him for a reason. He doubted they even knew Kerry was at the house, Hetty would have gotten there and the team would keep her safe – especially Callen.

Nell's face flashed through Eric's mind, she made him feel safe and strong and he needed that right now. He wished he could speak to her, even if only to tell her how much he loved her. If he didn't get out alive and she had never known… the thought alone broke Eric's heart.

Eric jumped at the sudden sound of a door being unlocked behind him, it was only then that he realised what else was in the room with him. The chair he was handcuffed to was placed right in front of a desk; on the desk were four computer screens and keyboards to match. Eric understood why they had taken him; he was one of the best hackers in the world, which must be why they wanted him. The door slammed shut behind him and dim lights made the room less scary, but the heavy footsteps that came closer to Eric brought even more fear to his mind.

"Eric Beale, I am told it is an honour to be in your presence." The man's voice was deep and gruff, it also sounded in some way vaguely familiar, but Eric didn't have the chance to wonder why. Eric didn't reply to the man's statement; he hadn't been trained to deal with any situations like this – he was just a computer geek. "I can see that you are afraid, I know who you are – technical operator for NCIS. For a man that is not cleared or trained for field duty, you know how to handle a gun." Eric still didn't reply. "I do not care if you don't say a word to me, all I need done is the job. Then you will be free to go." Eric seriously doubted that.

"Am I really expected to believe that you will let me go after this?" The man chuckled.

"I don't care what you believe. We don't have all day, so let's get started." The man removed the handcuffs and Eric massaged his wrists. "You are going to hack into every government agency I tell you to, you won't use any passwords or clearance, you will hack in. Then I want all the information on three names; every case file and every report. Do you understand?" Eric shook with fear but his next statement was instinctive.

"I understand, but I can not do it." The man leaned in close to Eric and growled at him.

"You do not have a choice." Again Eric shook his head and said he would not do it. The man motioned towards the door, which opened and Eric was dragged off his chair. He tried to stay quiet as they beat him, but the pain was worse than he could have imagined. One thing Eric did notice was that the 'muscle' made sure to leave his hands alone - presumably because Eric could not work without them.

"This is not your job, you are just the nerd of the group. Just agree to follow orders and the lain will stop, it is painful to hear." Eric wanted nothing more than to be able to stop the pain, but he could not give these men the information that would almost certainly lead to someone's death.

"I can't do it… I won't." Eric coughed. Luckily, he knew the pain caused was deliberately temporary and would wear off soon enough - but each blow still pushed pain through his body.

"I admire your resilience Eric Beale, but we both know it will not save you. You will do this, or we will kill your girlfriend too." Eric's eyes widened. "Yes, we know all about the little lady that visits your home after work and on the weekends, we have been watching you for weeks. I believe her name is Nell, is that right?" Eric was silent and motionless in shock. "Nell Jones, we also know where she lives."

Eric looked at the monitors in shame and defeat. "Fine, I know you'll shoot me when I am done, but leave her alone, please." The man agreed and flicked on the power, Eric took the first keyboard as the man gave him the first name. Eric's heart stopped at two of the names he was given, but he tried to stay calm. He knew Sam and Callen would find him, he only hoped he would be alive when they did.

* * *

"We don't know who has him, or why! G, you can't just storm into their place and expect to walk out with Eric. This plan is insane! Neither of you will get out alive!" Sam was frustrated with his partner, but he could see that G had decided to ignore the obvious emotions in Sam's voice.

"It will work… Eric is coming out alive Sam, whatever else happens!" That attitude was exactly what worried Sam, G was always too complacent when it came to his own safety. Sam grabbed his partner's arm and whispered so only he could hear him.

"I know that Eric is, but he isn't the only agent in danger." G looked up at Sam and glanced towards Kensi and Deeks, who stood only feet away.

"Sam, nothing is ever going to happen to my team. I will protect you all." Sam sighed, exasperated. He was sometimes truly shocked and confused when it came to G's blatant ignorance. Did he know that Sam was talking about G? Or did he simply think that it does not matter whether he comes back or not? As long as his loved ones did…

"I mean you G." Sam watched as his best friend looked slightly surprised, before looking at his partner with nothing other than confusion in his eyes.

"I'll be fine Sam." He whispered, sounding as convinced as he wanted to, but not convincing Sam at all.

* * *

Callen couldn't help the confusion that stopped his mind working properly, why did it matter what happened to him? That was one thing that was plain and clear to the lead agent; he had to protect the others over everything and everyone; including himself. Sam had a family that he had to return to, Deeks couldn't disappear because it would break Kensi - both her mind and her heart. Kensi had to be protected because she was like Callen's little sister, but he wouldn't loose her like he lost Amy. Nate was important in his own way too - how many agents would be lost without him? He had done much good that Callen had not failed to see. Hetty was… Hetty, and more important than most people Callen knew - if not all. Eric and Nell were the best techies in the US and among the top in the world, they had turned down offers that would have made them rich, because they wanted to do the right thing and help people. Everything made sense in Callen's mind, but Sam was starting to confuse him - even though that was not a difficult task recently. Callen decided to wave off Sam's concerns and worry about them later - he just didn't have time for it.

* * *

Hetty watched her team as they planned their assault on the building that Eric was being kept in, they were getting ready even though they had no idea where Eric had been taken. The operations manager watched Sam and Callen and listened to what was being said; she knew Callen better than most people - if not all - including Sam. Hetty could see the confusion and slight distress on Callen's face, he didn't understand Sam's concerns and anxiety when it came to his safety.

"Guys!" Nell's voice echoed from upstairs, making it even more quiet without Eric's whistle. The team rushed upstairs, sensing the same thing Hetty had in her voice; relief. Which found only mean that there was a lead on Eric.

"Nell?" Sam asked desperately the moment Hetty entered the room.

"In the last five minutes, multiple agencies have had their security breached; they have been hacked. The CIA, DEA, FBI, NSA and currently NCIS databases have been under attack from the same source." The team and even Hetty were still a little lost, although Callen had made his usual leaps and deductions to understand what was being said.

"How do you know it is him?" The lead agent pushed, finally Hetty understood.

"Who?" Kensi asked, Deeks also looking confused. But Hetty could hardly be surprised; the team was running on no sleep or rest whatsoever.

"Eric." Callen answered quickly.

"Eric and I worked out a long time ago what to do if we needed to let eachother know something without anyone else being able to understand of even know the message exists. Eric has hacked the agencies traditionally, using non of the security clearance he has or could fake. Obviously with multiple agencies being attacked we were notified but before we were hacked. I watched the hacker as they bypassed the firewalls and checked all the other trails too, I know it is Eric. He has a message for us." Hetty herself was surprised, even her technical operator and analyst had a plan to contact eachother in times such as these; her team truly was the best.

"What was the message Miss Jones?" Hetty asked.

"Well, that is the slight issue. Eric had to encrypt the message so it would not be seen - only I would be looking for it - but keep it brief and vague in case someone was able to read it. I'm not entirely sure what it means but I have it decrypted." Nell pressed a few buttons on her keypad and swiped the message onto the big screen. Hetty didn't understand it but she had a bad feeling that only worsened when she caught a glance between Sam and Kensi.

* * *

Callen stared at the message, he had an awful feeling about the first part and the second, but the third remained a mystery to him. No one spoke but there was a definite tension in the room as the team tried to understand Eric's rushed message.

-3 requests: anGel, devil, shield, angel's hart.

"Request?" Sam asked, needing clarification for what he guessed it meant.

"What they wanted from him, information." Nell said.

"Why is the G in angel a capital?" Deeks asked, Callen turned to the detective and gave him a half smile. "Oh." Deeks gasped, worried.

"It appears Gabriel has come back to haunt us again." Callen said, leaning against the wall, exhausted. "Will I never be rid of it?" His statement was whispered to himself, but they all heard him, they chose to keep quiet never Callen knew that and was grateful.

"So you're the angel." Kensi said. "And the devil?" Sam looked angry and Callen could feel his partner's watchful gaze.

"Karl Johnson. But what about the Shield?" Callen knew that one but was reluctant to speak, until Hetty pushed him into talking.

"Deeks, our LAPD liaison - detective." Deeks paled and stood surprised, but Kensi's hand on his arm calmed him down.

"And we all know who the angel's heart is." Sam said, everyone nodded but Callen wasn't convinced that it was what the team assumed.

"Nell, is there any chance that Eric would make a spelling error in the message? Could it have been deciphered inaccurately?" Nell looked confused but shook her head definitely.

"No chance, I have never seen Eric make any mistakes, spelling or otherwise. But he would make sure that the message was perfect before leaving the trail, he will know how it would be decrypted and write it accordingly. I triple checked anyway just to make sure… the message is sound, exactly how he wanted he to read it." Nell didn't need to ask, her face spoke for the entire team. But Callen couldn't answer straight away.

"Give me a minute." He said, before walking out of Ops and into the gym. Callen felt uneasy and confused, but the second he called Kerry and her voice sounded in his ear, he could think more calmly and rationally.

* * *

Kerry could tell that something was wrong the moment she heard Gabriel's voice over the phone; he sounded exhausted and concerned but still strong. He apologised for waking her, knowing that she had been home for a couple of hours and would have been asleep, but she told him not to be stupid.

"You can phone me any time you need or want to, for whatever reason. I wasn't sleeping too well anyway, I always sleep better with you beside me." Gabriel said it was the same for him too and Kerry knew that was true, she had witnessed the nightmares he suffered with. But for some reason, when they were together, neither of them suffered from bad dreams or anything. Gabriel had even been known to get four to five hours sleep in one run, twice his average amount.

"Kerry, I need you to get my box off the mantelpiece." Kerry was shocked by Gabriel's request but she did as he asked and sat with his most precious possession on her lap. He never let anyone near the box, although he had never told Kerry not to touch it, she didn't want to - it was the only thing she felt she couldn't interfere with.

"Inside is a newspaper cutting, I need you to tell me the name of the man it is talking about." Kerry put her cellphone on speaker and carefully looked through the few papers and trinkets inside. She pulled out two pieces of paper: one was a list of all his foster homes and the addresses and the other was the article he wanted. Kerry scanned the article and found the name after a few moments.

"Gabriel?" He grunted down the phone to tell her he was still there, but he was doing something himself, Kerry could hear him rooting through papers. "The name of the man is Thomas Hart." There was silence from Gabriel's end of the line and Kerry waited as she heard him take a deep breath.

"How do you spell the surname?" He sounded wary and as it he dreaded her answer, Kerry wished she could avoid answering or lie, but she couldn't and in a way she didn't want to.

"H-a-r-t." She spelled out, before Gabriel swore to himself and thought quickly for a moment.

"I need you to come down here Kerry." He said. Kerry didn't even ask for a reason, she didn't need one.

"I'll be twenty minutes." She said.

"It's a forty minute drive." Gabriel smirked down the phone.

"For you, I would do it in ten minutes. But that would be unsafe."

"I'll be waiting outside." He chuckled, before hanging up.

* * *

Callen checked his watch and rushed back up to Ops, once again serious and annoyed. Why did his past always seem to crop up and cause problems for his team? What had he done that was so wrong?

"Mr Callen, I presume you can explain now." Hetty pushed.

"Sorry Hetty, I wasn't sure but I definitely know what Eric meant by the third request. He wasn't talking about Kerry like you all thought, he means Thomas Hart, that is why the spelling was so crucial." Of course, no one knew the name.

"I have heard that name before, but I can not place the memory." Hetty said, Callen checked his watch and ran to the computer. He typed in the name and found the appropriate person, before pointing out the relevant issue. Then he turned to leave.

"Now where are you going G?" Sam asked.

"To get Kerry, I told her to come here, I feel better knowing she is alright. I'll be five minutes tops. See if you can make sense of this because I don't understand the relevance myself." Then he left.


	16. Chapter 16

Callen only had to wait a few minutes before his Aston Martin flew down the road and swung into the driveway, Kerry had barely had enough time to put it into park before she flew out the door and into Callen's arms. It relieved Callen beyond belief to have her safe with him, even though no one actually seemed to be safe with him.

"Gabriel, are you alright?" She asked, before kissing him gently.

"I'm alright, just worried about Eric. This is all my fault again Kerry… how many times is my past going to come back and hurt this team?" But Kerry couldn't answer that; all she could do was keep him calm and look after him the best she could.

"I didn't know what to do, so I brought it anyway… I hope you aren't angry with me." Kerry said as she opened the passenger door of the Aston. Callen was wide eyed as she took out his box. "I don't feel safe at the house without you, not until you get the men who did this… it didn't feel right leaving this behind unprotected." Kerry braced herself for Callen's outburst, but he wasn't angry.

"Thank you Kerry." He whispered, as he wrapped his arms around her.

"I read the article, the boy that it spoke of, was that you?" Callen looked down at the ground, ashamed. He had never even told Hetty about what had happened, she knew only what she had known before he told her, the rest he had kept quiet about all his life.

"Yes, I don't remember or even understand but I need to tell the team so come with me, I only want to do this once." Kerry nodded and took hold of Callen's hand; he needed her to keep him strong.

* * *

Sam and the others watched G on the monitors as he spoke to Kerry, just the way he was acting told the team that something was wrong. Sam looked at Hetty and for the first time, saw her confused and -not for the first time - worried for the agent that was like a son to her. They had all read the article that G had pointed out but were no closer to understanding what it had to do with anything. Sam saw the way that his partner looked away from Kerry, he looked ashamed – and that wasn't good.

"Sam, I presume you all read the article." G said as he entered Ops. Sam nodded and pulled out a chair for Kerry. G perched on the desk behind Kerry and Sam watched as Kerry kept a tight hold on the lead agent's hand.

* * *

Callen was afraid to speak of it, he was terrified even thinking about it. But he knew that he had no choice and he didn't want to lie to his team anymore, or keep things from them. Callen was ashamed of many things in his past, but none more than what he was about to speak of. He knew exactly what Nate would say if he was there, that he needed to open up and that it would help, but he failed to see how. He was convinced it would makes things worse, but there was no option anymore. That was when Nate walked in, surprising them all, even Hetty.

"Mr Getz, what are you doing here?" She inquired, Nate smiled to the team and looked pointedly at Callen.

"He is here because I asked him to come." If anything was going to worry the others, it was that.

"And I am happy to help." The psychologist said with a smile that almost hid his worry; Nate knew whatever Callen was about to say was bad.

"Mr Callen what have you done?" Hetty asked, worried.

"I am so sorry Hetty, I have lied to you for so many years. I never knew what to say, how to say it… I still don't. I've been ashamed all my life, ever since it happened and I don't even remember it! I can't tell you what happened because I don't know and there was no one else there! I am sorry to all of you, but I am not the man you all think I am." They all stood stricken and nobody moved an inch.

"G, just tell us what happened. We aren't gonna think any differently about you, whatever you did." Callen couldn't look at his partner, he could look at anyone. The room was silent; with everyone but the main team having been sent downstairs the atmosphere was even more tense. Callen took a deep breath and tried to keep his breathing steady, but his hands were already shaking with panic.

"I…Um…I killed someone." Callen didn't dare look at anyone, afraid of what he would see but he did feel like they were angry yet.

"G, we kill people all the time. You're gonna have to be more specific." Sam said gently, obviously sensing the sensitivity of the moment.

"When I was… twelve. I killed a child… a n-nine year old child." The room was silent, even Hetty didn't make a sound or Sam a comment. Nate was the only one that didn't hold his breath, he remained calm - that was his job after all. "The uh… article. The child that it speaks of is me. I can't even remember it, I don't know anything but what they told me when I was questioned. They said that I beat him up and then stabbed him to death, I stabbed him seven times. I don't-I don't know why."

"Callen, calm down. Why don't you remember? Have you repressed the memories?" Nate asked, Callen shook his head.

"I fell down the stairs when I was running away." Callen said, laughing. "That's karma for you isn't it. My foster father found me as I stabbed the boy to the seventh time, when I realised I had been caught I ran, and he phoned 911. I was in such a hurry to escape that I tripped at the top of the stairs and tumbled all the way to the bottom. I hit my head hard, more than once and never remembered what happened. I forgot the entire two weeks I spent at that house, I can't remember anything between them dragging me off the streets and when I woke up in the hospital." Callen had finally told them, he was still to cowardly to face his team, his friends - although they'd probably want him gone for good after learning this. He felt only partly relieved, and it was a very small part.

"How do you know that was what happened?" Deeks asked, Callen knew Kensi had elbowed him from Deeks' quiet groan.

"That was the story the foster father gave, both during the 911 call and to the police after. There were four other kids there at the time, three were awake and corroborated the story to the word. The one that was asleep said he wasn't surprised and they should lock me up. They all said that they were afraid of me." Kerry squeezed Callen's hand but he pulled away from her, knowing she would hate him for being so evil. Callen was holding back the tears as much as he could, but once one had escaped it was a harder struggle to keep the others hidden. "The only reason I didn't go to jail was because the foster father begged them to let me go and to get me help. Somehow he managed to persuade the cops to let me go and I stayed with them for another five days. The kids wouldn't go anywhere near me - not that you could blame them - and it wasn't long before they were so scared of me that the social workers dragged me off to another home. They used to look at me and cry; they were that terrified of what I would do to them. I would never hurt a child; I don't know why I would ever have done something like that."

Callen could no longer keep the tears at bay, they flowed freely and he let them; his team knew what a monster he was now, what did it matter if he was weak too? Callen braced himself as he watched Hetty's feet coming closer towards him, he knew that he couldn't look down to avoid her gaze, so he turned away.

"Mr Callen? G?" Even her using his initial couldn't make him look at her, he was too afraid of her expression. Then she stepped aside as Sam's military boots came into view, Callen watched them and braced for the inevitable punch that he expected. But one never came.

"G? G look at me." But Callen couldn't do it and he shook his head before closing his eyes - the impact would come soon. Then Sam's hands grabbed Callen's head, one held the back and the other his chin. Callen's breathing was fast and he was shaking even worse than before, but Sam was confusing him even more. "I told you to look at me." Sam growled, before physically moving his partner's head until he was facing him.

* * *

Sam didn't understand his partner half the time and he was used to that, but he was even more lost than ever now. Sam didn't believe that G had done that; he could never have killed a child. But he had bared that burden his whole life, not even telling Hetty. The whole team could see how ashamed G was of his past; even more than usual. But he wouldn't look at them to see their reactions, not even a glance - that was his certain he was that they would resent him for his past.

"I said look at me G." Sam growled at his partner, but G's eyes were still deliberately fixed downwards, desperate not to focus on Sam or the others. Sam kept a tight grip on his best friend's head and waited, but he knew G would not look at them. "We don't have time for this G, just look at me so we can all sort this out and get Eric back." It was a cheap shot but it worked so Sam didn't care. Callen slowly moved his gaze up to Sam and the tears flowed even faster, even though G was scared and trying his best to hold them in.

"We can sort this out later; I don't know what this has to do with why they have taken Eric or why they want information on the guy. I am only bothered about getting Eric back at the moment. I am happy that you have told us though, it means a lot to me G." Sam could still feel his partner shaking and it was getting worse as Sam stared Callen down, but they didn't have the time to say what they needed to say.

"Ok." G gasped, his face entirely open for the first time since Sam had known his partner. G was broken and ashamed, but for once Sam needed his partner's legendary skills to bring home their friend.

"We are not going to worry about what you did or didn't do, that doesn't matter at the moment. We are going to focus on getting Eric back, and then we will all talk. Okay?" G looked at him, hopelessly confused. But then Deeks stepped forward and spoke with a maturity that none of them knew he had.

"Callen, I honestly don't believe that you could be capable of that, but if that is what happened I will accept it. You were a different person then and you don't even remember what happened. We have spent so long trying to break through your walls and get you to open up, but now we need you to rebuild those barriers and do your job. Focus on the mission and Eric. Like Sam said, we can talk when Eric is home."

Sam watched his partner as his expression became hard and he began to cloud his emotions, G wiped his eyes dry and turned to Kerry. She nodded to him and G smiled lightly at Deeks, grateful.

"Do you all still trust me enough to follow me?" He asked tightly, sounding afraid of the answer.

"G, you aren't any different to how you were yesterday. I still trust you with my entire family's lives." G looked scared of Sam's statement but accepted it as a yes, to which Kensi and Deeks both assented.

"Nell?" G turned to the analyst who was starting to get agitated watching Kaleidoscope as the search for the van's final destination narrowed.

"Got it!" She shouted relieved, before typing furiously on the keyboards.


	17. Chapter 17

"I still don't like the plan G…" Sam moaned, but Callen didn't care. It was going to work, Eric would be home soon - and Callen was going to find out what these people's interest was in Deeks, Callen and his past.

"You never like the plan Sam, don't worry, Eric will be fine. Now, remember: Kensi and Deeks take the side entrances. Sam, you take the back. I'll take the front. Do we all know our objectives?" Callen asked, in leader mode with virtually no consideration to his confession in Ops.

"Me and Deeks will take out the main guards and clear as much space as possible." Kensi said confidently.

"I'll take them out from the back, giving you as much time and space as possible." Sam muttered begrudgingly.

"And you will only attempt to rescue Eric if I am out of action or you have a good chance of escape. Clear?" They all nodded. "If I am taken hostage or harmed, you will leave me behind, get Eric out and only return with tactical. You will not endanger yourselves or eachother for me. Understood?" Reluctantly the team nodded, although it took Sam longer to respond. "I want someone important alive, just one will do. I need answers."

The team agreed and put in their earwigs. They then moved into position and Callen signalled for Kensi and Deeks to go in, only fifteen seconds later Sam was sent in. After another ten seconds of gunfire Callen stormed through the front door and took out the two men in front of him.

Callen ran straight through the first room and dodged bullets by what he was certain were inches. They had borrowed a government thermal camera again and found a hot room filled with computers. Inside was one man sat down and another stood over him, there were four guards outside the door and various others that patrolled the building.

Callen knew exactly where he was going and rushed forwards, taking out anyone that stood in his way. Nell guided him from Ops through the earwig, calling out all the men that he approached.

"Callen!" She squeaked, as another leapt out from behind a pillar. Callen shot him and turned down the next corridor, finally within a hundred yards of Eric.

* * *

Sam had cleared the back door and the room inside, before starting to edge towards the main area of the warehouse. Kensi and Deeks were still shooting and Deeks sounded anxious.

"We're seriously outnumbered here Sam! Don't suppose you could give us a hand?" Deeks shouted, Kensi sounding out of breath.

"G?" Sam asked, relieved at least that his partner was stable enough for what they needed to do.

"As long as the back door is clear, go ahead. Nell will help guide you!" Then G's voice was gone again, soon replaced by Nell who was calling out the locations of guards.

"Ok guys I'm coming in!" Sam warned the others, just as he spun around the doorway and took immediate cover. He managed to signal Kensi so she knew where he was, then they continued to take out the guards.

"Is that them all?" Kensi asked, Sam couldn't see anyone else so he shrugged.

"I guess so… Nell?" But Nell didn't answer, which meant that something was happening with G and Eric.

"Sam!" Deeks suddenly flew out from behind a pillar and barrelled into Sam, knocking him to the ground with a thump.

"What the…" Sam began, but machine gun fire cut him off and the Seal realised that Deeks had just saved his ass. Kensi shot the shooter and Hetty's voice came through the earwigs.

"You are clear now, get to Mr Callen." Then she was gone. The three agents (including Deeks) rushed off towards where Callen would have headed, desperately hoping that both of their friends were alive and well.

What they found was both a relief and a confusing shock.

They found Eric crouched beside the wall with a Glock in his hand and a shocked look on his face, it took Sam a moment to realise that Eric was crouched over G, who was groaning in obvious pain.

* * *

Callen shot three of the four guards on the door, surprised that there was one missing. But only a moment later he heard a heavy footstep behind him, Callen spun to find a mountain of a man rushing at him - he would give even Sam a run for his money.

It wasn't difficult for Callen to take down the huge man, he wasn't an experienced fighter and used only his brute strength. Callen was smashed against the wall and kicked in the chest, but he ignored the crack of a broken rib and manged to knock the tower of a man down, before snapping his thick neck.

Callen took a quick breather outside the door, when he had caught his breath he raised his gun and pushed open the heavy door. The lead agent was surprised to find Eric unconscious in front of the computer screens, still handcuffed to the chair. Callen couldn't see anyone else in the room but his main focus was Eric.

"Eric…" The techie stirred and frowned as he focused on Callen. He rubbed his wrists when Callen removed the handcuffs and brought his hands straight to his head, where blood was soaked in his blonde hair.

"Callen…?" He slurred.

"Yeah, you alright?" The blonde shrugged and groaned as he gripped his stomach. From one look Callen could see that his friend had been beaten. "You did well Eric, how badly are you hurt? Can you walk?"

"Not too bad, I'll be fine. I can walk alright… I think." Eric managed to get to his feet and Callen spoke for the first time into his earwig.

"I have Eric, he has been beaten but can walk and should be alright. He could do with an ambulance though." Nell's sigh of relief was obvious and made Callen smile, then Hetty's voice came through the earpiece.

"Good work Mr Callen, please bring Mr Beale home." He could hear the smile in her voice, mixed with relief.

"Callen!" Nell's shriek down Callen's ear sent him immediately on the defensive as Eric stared off behind him. The agent turned to find a very familiar and confusing face glaring back at him - what was confusing was the hatred and maliciousness in his eyes.

"Mr Hart? Why are you here?" He asked with caution.

"Ever the lost little boy aren't you Gabriel..." Hart laughed and smirked at Callen, seemingly pleased to have the upper hand. "It wasn't until after you left me that I found out your name, you have my cousin to thank for that." Callen frowned and glanced at Eric for help.

"Karl Johnson was his cousin." Eric said, still groggy. Callen couldn't believe it, how had he never found that out?

"Bugger." Came Hetty's curse through the earwig.

"I have been looking forward to this day for a long time now Callen. It makes it so much better that you have no idea what is going on. I can't believe that you are with NCIS; am I to assume that you had a hand in my cousin's death?" Callen needed to regain control, but he didn't know how to do that without aggravating Hart. Perhaps that was what he should do…

"Mr Callen, please tread carefully." Hetty cautioned him but he was too far gone for that; he was confused and slightly afraid but he couldn't show that.

"Pulled the trigger myself, each time was more satisfying than the next." Callen's famous smirk was back on his face and didn't even leave when Hart levelled a gun at his head.

* * *

Eric was watching with both interest and fear, he had never been so close and involved with the group in the field. He observed Callen with amazement and complete trust - even though his methods were scary and Eric knew that if a gun was pointed at him he could never be so calm. He also knew that Callen could and today probably had taken a beating and survived perfectly well. Eric was still reeling from his, the pain still ricocheted through his bones and muscles.

Then before Eric could blink Callen rushed towards Hart and grabbed the arm that held the Glock 17. The gun fell to the floor as Hart's arm buckled against the pressure Callen placed on it. The agent kicked the gun away from them and it came to rest a few feet away to their right.

Eric turned his attention straight back to Callen, to find him trying to wrestle Hart down to the ground. Eric could see how conflicted the lead agent was; he appeared to like and respect Hart but was obviously pissed that he wasn't what he had thought him to be. Eric had read the files as he hacked the agencies and retrieved the information, he had out most of it together - it was only Deeks that didn't seem to fit into the picture.

Callen finally knocked down his opponent and was struggling to cuff him when Hart managed to knock Callen off balance and stab him in the back of his right shoulder with a huge needle, injecting him with some clear kind of liquid. The agent lost his balance completely and fell to his side, hands clutching his head in pain.

Eric was scared and furious as Hart dropped the needle to the floor and grabbed Callen by the shoulders before whispering something in his ear. Callen tried to get free but Hart was gripping him too tightly and the agent was in too much pain to function properly.

Eric knew he'd had no other choice but hadn't actually realised what he was doing until he collided with Hart and knocked them both to the floor with a thud. Hart punched Eric hard in the nose, probably causing a black eye to start forming.

"There's nothing you can do, your friend is going to be in so much pain that he will kill himself, and if he doesn't I'll make sure he won't have to." Eric had never been so angry, he managed to pull strength from somewhere within him and punched Hart in the head.

Hart was as surprised as Eric and actually reeled back but Eric just couldn't stop hitting him, he managed to land each and every punch that he threw until Hart swept his legs out from under him. Eric could see Callen trying to get to his feet, using the wall for support but he just didn't have the strength. Callen slipped down and lay curled up, but he wouldn't take his eyes off Eric. Callen then glanced away and back at Eric, who followed his leader's motion and noticed the Glock just within his reach.

Eric lunged across the floor and grabbed the semi-automatic pistol before rolling onto his back and aiming at Hart's leg. Eric couldn't kill him with a shot to the head; they needed information and he and Callen both wanted answers. He pulled the trigger and watched as Hart collapsed clutching his left thigh.

A roar of pain from Callen brought Eric to his leader's - and on his part friend's - side. He didn't let go of the gun but he put the safety back on and focused on Callen, completely ignoring the pain in his bleeding hand and other injuries.

That was when the heavy door reopened and Sam rushed in with the others. As the three agents surveyed the room, Eric realised that Hart had disappeared.

* * *

Sam ran immediately up to the two agents and demanded an explanation from Eric, but the techie was panicked and preoccupied.

"Sam! Hart, he's gone. His leg… shot! You have to catch him, be-before he hurts Callen." Sam couldn't understand Eric's words and tried to calm the agent down.

"Eric… explain. Few words, slowly." Eric took a deep breath and started to try and explain.

"Hart injected Callen." He pointed to the empty syringe. "Then I shot him in the leg but Callen screamed so I came to help, you got here and I saw he was gone." Eric looked afraid of Sam, as if he would blame him for the enemy escaping. But at least Sam understood now.

"Kensi! Deeks! One man missing, find him! He injected Callen with a mystery liquid. If you find him, try to take him alive but if your lives are in danger, kill him instantly." The two agents nodded and pulled out their guns again, before rushing off towards the other door and whispering to eachother about where he could have gone to hide.

Sam's worry now was the safety and health of his partner and colleague - who he would ensure became a good friend. Callen was in a fair amount of pain but it seemed to be letting up, slowly. Eric was also injured but capable of staying alert enough.

"Nell?" Sam spoke into his earwig, when she replied he knew she was still anxious about Eric. "ETA of ambulances?" He asked. She typed a couple of keys and called out a thankfully low number.

"Five minutes." Nell said, breathing a small sigh of relief, then Hetty's relieved voice was in his ear.

"Mr Hanna, call my cell phone." Then she was gone. Sam obeyed immediately and dialled her number, she picked up on the first ring.

"Sam, I need a brief summary." Sam looked at Eric and at G, who was starting to open his eyes and move into a better position, hopefully the pain lessening.

"Hetty, I think you need to get the team to the hospital." Sam said calmly.

"That is why I wanted you on the phone Sam, I have called everyone back to base to find the missing man - I can brief you later on what we learned tonight. Nell has sent a message to your team members, all are to assemble at the hospital ASAP. Please put me on speaker." Sam obeyed just as Kensi and Deeks re-entered the room and looked defeated; they had lost him.

"Hetty, they are all here. G? You alright?" Sam asked his partner, who was now sitting up and listening, wincing only occasionally now.

"Thankyou Mr Hanna. Mr Beale and Mr Callen will ride in the ambulances - no excuses." But Hetty's remark was not needed, G nodded without debate - that was worrying. "Mr Hanna will ride with his partner. Mr Beale will you be okay to ride alone?" Eric said he would and Hetty continued. "Good, Miss Blye and Mr Deeks shall take each car to the hospital where we will all convene. I leave it to you to decide who drives which car. See you in half an hour or so." Then Hetty was gone and Sam checked the time, the ambulances should arrive in a minute.

"Come on guys, lets go meet the Paramedics." G accepted Sam's help getting up and walking out of the building. They all stood waiting for the ambulances and Kensi and Deeks began fighting over who drove what.

"I'm not driving the Challenger!" Deeks shouted. "What if I scratch it? I don't want to lose my head! You drive it!" But Sam had other ideas, which surprised them all. He threw the keys at Deeks, who caught them and stared up at the Seal in shock.

"Sam? I don't…" but Sam cut him off.

"Tough. As irritating as you can be, you saved my ass out there tonight - besides, you are a much better driver than Kensi." They all laughed as Kensi glared at Sam. "If you do scratch it… I'll let you off this once." Deeks grinned at Sam and saluted him.

"Yes sir!" Before they jumped in the two cars and took off. The ambulances arrived right after and loaded their two patients on board.


	18. Chapter 18

Hetty had called ahead to LAPD to make sure they knew she would be breaking some speed limits along the way to the hospital. The man she spoke to actually liked and respected Deeks, so he met them along the way to provide a police escort. Nate and Kerry rode in the back of Hetty's car whilst Nell sat in the front. They arrived in less than twenty minutes and thanked the LAPD officer before rushing inside to find their friends. On finding the usual doctor with their two agents, Hetty turned to Sam for more of an explanation, but he didn't have one.

"We've only just got here Hetty, the same doctor as before is treating G and his assistant is with Eric. He said they'd be out soon enough. Hetty, I don't know what G was injected with, but it can't have been good - G is in some serious pain." Hetty was just relieved that they all came back alive and hopefully in one piece.

"Thank you Sam, did you bring the needle?" Sam looked lost and then angry.

"Damn it! I was so focused on getting them both in the ambulances I didn't think. Actually, I didn't notice the needle before we left." Poor Sam would beat himself up about that now, but they were interrupted by the usual doctor coming up to them.

"Hetty." He nodded with a sad smile on his face. "I see you and Mr Callen here too often."

"I agree Doctor, what is the prognosis this time?" Hetty was tired of spending time with her son at the hospital, but at least he was alive. She felt awful for Eric too, her technical operator was the best and a wonderful person, who wasn't trained for such violent events.

"We'll start with Mr Beale, he has a couple of fractured ribs and some severe bruising to his stomach. He has a broken nose and some bruising around his eye, also other bruises and scrapes consistent with the beating he described. But he will make a full recovery, as long as he stays out of the field. His hands are pretty badly bruised too and his knuckles are scraped but they'll be fine as long as he keeps them clean." Hetty exhaled sadly, her poor agent had been through quite a lot in his time away from the team. Nell gasped and tears started flowing down her face, Kensi and Marty both put an arm around her at the same time - which made Hetty smile.

"Mr Callen is however, as always, a more complicated issue." The doctor said, Hetty's heart sinking at his words.

* * *

Sam felt awful for Eric, he had been through a lot and come out of it more or less okay, especially considering the fact that he isn't a field agent. Sam was surprised and relieved that he would be alright and would ensure that he got to know the techie better. But the doctor's words about G chilled him to the core.

"Doc, please just explain." Sam said slowly.

"Mr Callen has a broken rib and plenty of bruises and scrapes, again. But it isn't anything physical that is worrying us. Mr Beale has given us the needle that contained the liquid that was injected into Mr Callen and we have sent it to the lab. I have rushed the results so we should hear within the hour, I will need to take some blood to send to the lab too though." Sam knew Kerry would be the one to keep him calm through taking the blood. Sam was just relieved that Eric had thought far enough ahead to grab the needle. Hetty was still worried though, and so was Sam.

"Doctor, I know you don't know what he was injected with, but what are his symptoms? Do you have any ideas yet?" The doctor bowed his head and shrugged. P

"He is suffering from severe pain inside his head and has blacked out a few times, he won't say how much pain he is in but I have known him for a long time and he has never allowed himself to appear weakened or pained. The fact that we can all see it shows how bad it must be. I do have an idea but I hope to God that I am wrong. It is similar to a case I have seen where someone's memory was removed through an injection, the only way to get the memories to resurface was to inject the victim with the same liquid. I can confirm the liquid when the lab gets back to us." Hetty looked thoughtful for a moment before nodding her head.

"Excuse me, doctor?" Kerry asked, the doctor looked up at Kerry and Nell, who were now holding hands.

"You can go right in and see them. They are in a private room together, I ensured a large room so you can all go in at once. I'll be there to take Mr Callen's blood in just a minute." Then the doctor pointed the way and went off to chase up the results or whatever.

* * *

Callen lay in his hospital bed and glared at the ceiling, the doctor had looked him over and was relatively surprised that he wasn't too badly hurt - physically. He could see how the head pains after the injection worried the doctor, hell they worried him too. The assistant doctor had finished strapping up Eric's ribs and wrapping his hands and had opened the curtain between their two beds.

"Hey Callen…" Eric groaned. Callen really wished he hadn't been so injured but luckily the techie seemed pretty calm in general.

"How are you Eric? Really." Eric hesitated after Callen stated that he wanted the truth, knowing that Callen wouldn't betray him Eric was happy to talk to the agent.

"Honestly, I don't feel too bad. The pain was pretty bad but the medication they gave me is helping a lot. I feel awful for feeling a little sorry for myself though - you are hurt much worse than me. Thank you Callen, I'd be dead if it weren't for you. How can I thank you?" Callen felt uncomfortable but smiled anyway, before smirking at Eric. "What?" He asked carefully.

"There is one thing you can do for me… put both of you out of your misery and ask Nell out." Eric looked stunned before blushing and looking down embarrassed.

"I most certainly will, when I was there there were only two things that got me through. I knew if I was meant to survive that you and Sam would find me, and Nell. The thought of her never knowing that I love her almost broke my heart." Callen smiled at Eric and realised he felt the same about Kerry.

Then a searing pain in his mind forced Callen to close his eyes, but the pain didn't disappear or even decrease, it got worse with each stab.

"Callen?" Eric jumped off his bed and Callen heard him shuffle across the room, he wanted to tell the techie to lie back down and not strain himself but he couldn't speak. "Callen, do you want the doctor?" Eric asked, placing a hand on Callen's shoulder. Callen shook his head with his hands gripping his head.

"He-He…" Callen was cut off by the pain again and couldn't keep the painful groans silent anymore. "Het-Hetty…" he managed to cough out with a growl.

"Hetty?" Eric asked, Callen nodded his head furiously and heard Eric rush out the door.

* * *

Kerry was on her way towards Eric and Gabriel's room with the team when a panicked Eric came shuffling down the corridor in a hurry. He seemed relieved to find Hetty and stopped in front of her.

"Mr Beale? What is wrong?" She asked, worried.

"It's Callen, I don't know what's wrong but he needs serious help. He asked for you but I think you should all come. I've never seen anyone in so much pain, especially Callen." Eric clutched his ribs and waved Hetty ahead but Sam put Eric's arm over his shoulder and helped the technical agent back to his room.

Sam pushed open the door and let Eric lean on his bed, before rushing to his partner's side. Kerry rushed to Gabriel's side with Hetty and they both laid a hand on his arms, trying to calm him down.

"Eric, I asked for Hetty…" Callen moaned, but when Kerry let him grab her hand he gripped it back, ensuring he was gentle and managed to open his eyes to see her.

"Gabriel? What is it?" He looked petrified and was seriously shaking, Kerry was worried he was having a seizure or something. "Sam, help him…" Kerry pleaded with the man that was like a brother to her and he came over to his partner in an instant.

"G? G, calm down. Just try and let us know what is happening." But Gabriel couldn't speak, his eyes closed again and the shaking increased even more. Then Hetty started whispering to him in a language Kerry didn't understand but recognised as Romanian - she knew that Gabriel and Hetty often used the language to speak to eachother more privately.

"Fii puternic, fiul meu, vă rugăm să încercați și să ne ajuta. Trebuie să știm ce se întâmplă cu tine. Kerry este chiar vrem să vă ajutăm." It was a while before Gabriel managed to slur a sentence together but Hetty was seriously worried when he did. Kerry was terrified when Gabriel's body shook violently before becoming motionless, he was finally unconscious.

"Hetty? What is it? Why are you so scared?" Kerry asked, desperately afraid for the man she loved.

"He is having flashbacks, but new memories are coming to light. This isn't going to be pleasant for him at all, he suffers enough with the flashbacks and nightmares, he doesn't need any more. But these new memories frighten me, I think the doctor's theory may be rather accurate." Kerry was scared for Gabriel and knew she couldn't help him, none of them could. She decided that their presence would be good enough for Gabriel and was what he would need when he woke up.

"Should we leave?" Deeks asked but Kerry shook her head quickly.

"No, he needs you all. He wouldn't tell you because he believes his feelings to be a weakness and is afraid that his trust in you all may be broken or lost or betrayed. Too much has happened to him, there are things I don't and possible even Hetty may not know. He draws strength from his team when he needs it, you are all he has and all he says that he needs."

The team stood shell-shocked by Kerry's words, although Gabriel may not appreciate learning what she had told them, Kerry didn't care; all that mattered was that they were there for him. That was when the doctor walked in, having been alerted by a nurse.

"I think you should take the blood now doctor." Kerry said; it would save Gabriel the trauma of the needle at least.

"I think your initial instinct may have been correct doctor." Hetty said, surprising the doctor.

"What has happened?" He asked, slightly alarmed.

"He said he was having flashbacks but finding new memories too, not from his earlier years though. He managed to tell Hetty that before falling unconscious, he was shaking so erratically doc." Sam said, the doctor sighed.

"I have seen it only once, did Callen have any missing time? We know that it isn't from his childhood, is there anything else?" They all thought for a moment before Nate piped up, having been very quiet previously.

"I have asked Callen this question before, he told me that apart from his early years there was only one blank space. He said he had an accident when he was younger that erased two weeks of memories. Do you think he meant when he fell down the stairs?" Hetty thought and nodded.

"This whole case was starting to feel fishy to me, Mr Callen was shocked to see Hart, he must have thought he was alright. Perhaps he was lied to, perhaps things didn't happen the way he believes they did." Kerry took Sam's hand to stop him from freaking out, Gabriel often joked about his partner's temper when it came to things that had happened in his last.

"Does this mean that Callen will get his memory back and remember what actually happened that night?" Deeks asked, Kensi looked to the doctor for an answer.

"If that is what is happening and I am almost certain that it is, yes. He will reclaim his memory but with a past like Mr Callen's, sometimes it is safer for the memories to stay buried." Kerry knew that Callen's past had been awful and she knew that better than most. But none of them had any idea of the true extent of traumatic events in his youth.


	19. Chapter 19

Callen had been in the hospital for three days now; he didn't know how much more he could take. His mind was seriously messed up and the pain was awful – though he'd had worse. Not to mention his embarrassment at never being left alone; even though the others were all back at work, there was always someone at the hospital. Callen knew Hetty well enough to realise she thought he might be in further danger.

Callen was so confused; he was finding new memories popping up in his mind at random times. As of that morning nothing yet had come to explain what he had done to that poor boy. Then Callen had lost consciousness at the hospital, Eric had just gone back to the Ops centre and Deeks was on his way to sit with him. When he woke up a few minutes later he was shaking even worse than before and had the worst image in his mind that he had ever had - even worse than his mother's body on the beach. Callen needed time, he needed to be alone. But he wasn't thinking ahead, he was just thinking for the next few minutes. He knew who he needed to call first.

"Callen?" Eric asked, surprised to receive his call.

"Eric, I need a favour." Eric responded immediately, that he could have anything. "I need you to give me some space. I'm leaving my phone at the hospital and going for a walk, I won't go far I promise. I just need some air and some time alone. Don't tell the team where I am if you find me. Can you do that for me?" Callen asked, still not sure why he wanted it.

"I… yes. Is everything alright Callen?" Eric asked and Callen lied, of course he wasn't - but he wasn't going to tell Eric that. "What if Hetty asks?" The techie was still scared of their little operations manager.

"Lie. Thanks Eric." Then Callen hung up and set the phone down on the unit beside the hospital bed. He changed quickly into some clothes that had been left for him in the small cupboard. He grabbed his SIG from under his pillow, slipped it into the waistband of his jeans and started the painful journey out of the hospital.

He ended up about six blocks away and found himself climbing up towards the top floor of a modern office building. He'd only had to flash his badge at the security officers and they let him to straight through. He still didn't think about what he was doing, where he was going, or why. He finally reached the top floor and took the small staircase up to the roof, it was the highest building for a few blocks and had an amazing view. Callen knelt down right by the edge of the roof and allowed himself to clear his head; he needed to think and he needed to try and remember. Although he wasn't sure he wanted to, the image of the dead boy was bad enough.

* * *

Sam was on his way up to Ops when Deeks came running through the door. Sam was worried and annoyed - his was supposed to be sitting with G.

"Deeks? Why aren't you at the hospital?" He asked, grabbing the detective by the arm. Hetty came out of her office at that point and came over to see what was going on, she too was concerned to see Deeks was here and no with G.

"That is a good question Mr Deeks." She said, making the shaggy haired man jump.

"Well, that is what I would like to know. I went to the hospital but he wasn't there - they said they had been looking for him for at least twenty minutes." Sam almost growled, why did G always have to go off on his own? It never ended well. Hetty decided they were going to go and talk to Eric. But as they were going up the stairs Eric came rushing out of Ops and barrelled into Sam.

"Sam! Sorry!" The Seal brushed it off and Hetty asked why the techie was in such a rush. "Hetty, I was on my way to tell you… I should have called you before. I didn't think. I'm sorry Hetty." Eric wasn't making any sense.

"Eric." Sam said. "Let's go to Ops, you can explain better then." Eric nodded and took them inside.

"Callen called me about half an hour ago, he wanted me to let him leave the hospital without you guys knowing. He asked me to lie to you so he could have time alone." Sam was confused.

"What had happened?" Sam asked, but Eric didn't know.

"Where is he now Mr Beale?" Hetty asked, worried. Eric looked to Nell who was searching through security cameras.

"He last entered the Westside Office Building." She said, pointing it out on the map. "But I won't be able to access the cameras inside for at least ten minutes and then it will take ages to work out where he is and why." Sam had no idea why G would go there, but then he didn't really know his partner as well as he wanted to.

"Miss Jones, check the rooftop. Use satellites, cameras, anything you can." Hetty sounded strained.

"Hetty, why would he be on the roof?" Sam asked.

"He always liked the peacefulness of the rooftops, especially higher up ones. I used to have to track him down when he was younger and I almost always found him up on a roof. That was where he slept when he had no home." The team were silent and Kensi patted Sam on the shoulder, she knew how sad it all made him.

"So that is where he feels safe…" Deeks smiled, he knew how much kids needed a safe place to hide.

"Precisely Mr Deeks, but I am surprised at him going off now, something must have triggered him to bolt." Hetty was troubled and Eric was the first to guess what they should have known.

"Could he have remembered something from what happened when he lost his memory?" The techie was right and they all knew it.

"Mr Hanna, I think you should go and make sure your partner is okay." Sam nodded, he grabbed Kensi and Deeks but Nell called them back before they reached the door.

"I think you should see this first." She said, they all stared at the view from a nearby rooftop camera.

"Why does he have his SIG out?" Deeks asked. Sam shook his head and his heart started racing. He shared a panicked look with Hetty before running out to his challenger. Kensi and Deeks followed right behind in their car and they pulled up outside the offices together.

* * *

"Excuse me officer, NCIS, LAPD. Do you happen to remember where one of our agents was headed not so long ago?" Sam asked the security officer.

"Yes of course, he said he needed to check out the roof. Is everything okay? Do you need any assistance?" Another security guard came over to see what was going on.

"No, we just need to get up there to join him. How do I get to the roof?" The security officer gave them the same route as he had given Callen and watched as Sam and Kensi rushed over to the lifts. Sam pushed the button desperately and almost ran to the stairs, until Kensi told him it would be stupid to run up the twenty five floors to the roof. Deeks stayed by the security guards with an idea.

"Is there another way onto the roof?" He asked, confusing the two men.

"Only one other. You don't look like a Federal Agent."

"I'm not, I am a detective with LAPD and the liaison officer between the police and NCIS. With all due respect _officers,_ I need the alternative access route to the roof, immediately." Deeks rarely tried to make himself sound threatening or authoritative but his friend might be in danger, so he would do anything to help get him back and get him better. Hetty sounded impressed in Deeks' ear, but he gave no indication that he had heard her to anyone.

"Sorry Sir." They sounded slightly flustered. "The Far East side of the twenty third floor has a fire escape going up to the roof. Careful though, it's not always that stable." Deeks nodded his thanks and took the clearance card they gave him, that would give him access to any room he needed.

* * *

Sam and Kensi bolted down the corridor towards the roof access, they had no reason to tell them to hurry up, but their gut instincts told them to run. Sam was pissed at Deeks for being left behind, but he would catch up eventually and Sam would sort him out when G was safe again. He needed to have a serious talk with his partner about resting and talking to his friends instead of running away and hiding.

"Sam, do you want me to stay down here?" Kensi asked.

"No, I doubt he will be by the door. Stay quiet and let me talk to him, you won't be able to sneak up on him so don't bother trying that. If you think you can help him though, go ahead." Kensi agreed and followed Sam out onto the rooftop. G was kneeling facing the city, in the direction that held the ocean. He had his SIG in his right hand and was rubbing his temple with his left, Sam noticed how stressed he truly looked.

"G?" Sam said gently, causing his partner to spin around with a tear streaked, panicked face.


	20. Chapter 20

Callen had no idea what he was doing there; he didn't understand his own mind at that moment. The one thing he had always been able to trust and count on was his own judgement and instinct. Now he didn't even trust himself. In his mind all he could see was the nine year old boy's body lying crumpled beneath him on the ground. Callen remembered the time after the event, but not before, during or the reason why.

He remembered leaning down and checking the boy's pulse, feeling for breath and trying to wake him up - it wasn't the first time he had needed to see if another child was alive. When he realised he was dead he pulled the knife out of the boy's small chest, before hearing a sudden sound behind him.

"Boy." The voice sounded rougher and more threatening than Callen remembered but he stared wide-eyed and afraid into the foster father's eyes before dropping the bloody knife. Then the man came towards him, trying to grab his arm, but Callen tried to push past him. They struggled and Callen felt a small pain in his neck, before he threw his head back and broke the Hart's nose.

Callen broke free and rushed out the door, knowing he was covered in blood. He passed three other boys and watched them staring at him in tears, the other boy must have still been in bed. They looked truly afraid and started backing towards their rooms as Callsn heard Hart following him.

"Boy! Callen!" He shouted, Callen turned and saw the man gaining ground on him. He rushed towards the stairs but was scared he wouldn't make it, Hart was almost behind him and Callen leapt forwards. The foster father's hand tried to grab his shirt, knowing that as soon as Callen got downstairs he was gone.

Callen lost his footing - because of his speed or Hart's attempt at stopping him, he did not know - and tumbled down the stairs. He remembered hitting each step and knocking his head hard, which made him dizzy and he hit the floor with a loud thump. Callen groaned once before falling unconscious.

He had awoken to flashing blue lights and calming voices being whispered to him, but there were also stern voices and children crying. Callen knew now that the children must have been crying because of him but at the time he didn't know why, he only wanted to comfort them. Callen moved his head from side to side, looking for danger, knowing it must be nearby - it always was.

"Calm down, you're okay. We're going to the hospital." Callen calmed down then, hospitals were safe; they were where people got better. "Do you know your name?" The same man asked him, Callen looked at him and recognised the neon jacket - he was a paramedic.

"G. Callen." He whispered.

"That what they call you huh? I mean your real name." The man smiled unknowingly.

"Don't know, just G. didn't… say." He started coughing and the man patted him reassuringly. "What… happened?" He managed to choke out. The paramedic froze while checking his pulse and looked at the young Callen with sad eyes.

"Don't you remember?" Callen shook his head. "You knocked your head falling down the stairs. That's all you need to know for now. Don't worry, you'll be alright." But the man didn't sound sure, he wasn't telling the truth.

"Why… lie?" The older man looked into his eyes and sighed.

"Because I don't know. You'll be safe at the hospital but I don't know what will happen after that. I'm sorry… G?" Callen nodded, used to the uncertainty of his life and future - would he ever know where he would spend his next days? The man was truly sorry, Callen could see that. He just didn't remember what had happened, or understand was going on. "Get some sleep son…"

The kind man's voice was all Callen heard before he was u conscious again, but he remembered wondering why the stranger cared; no one ever had before. Callen had never been called son before - that he could remember anyway - but this man did. What did he mean? Why did that make Callen feel safe and happier as he fell into darkness? Callen was brought out of his new memories by a familiar voice behind him, a voice that was strong and caring. Sam.

His partner usually made him feel stronger and safer, but Callen was so lost that he doubted anything would. He still didn't know why, but he was sure he didn't want to know why, didn't want to remember stabbing that poor boy.

"G?" Sam sounded worried, it was only then that Callen realised how often his voice sounded like that. He spun around with wet eyes and forced himself to look at his best friend. Only then did he see his much he hurt his friend, and then he saw Kensi, also afraid. Not only was he a murderer, Callen was an awful person that only thought about himself. Running away, hiding, going 'lone wolf'. All he ever did was worry his friends and Hetty; he really was a waste of space - just as Hart had told him. He was toxic to his friends. Was that why Dom had died? Was it all Callen's fault?

"G?" Sam called again. Callen focused on his partner and continued shaking; he started rubbing his temple with his left hand again, the pain resonating through his mind. His SIG was gripped forgotten in his right hand, but Callen saw Sam glance at the weapon. Was he worried that Callen would hurt them? Was he capable of hurting his friends? But he was, he did it all the time - how was shooting them so different really?

"Sam…" he didn't know what to say to his partner.

"What have you remembered G?" Sam asked quietly.

"I…I remember." Callen sniffed and took a second to dry his eyes, feeling like a child again - which he hated. "I remember pulling the knife out of him. I ran… I fell down the stairs. I killed him!" Callen was afraid and angry with himself, but most of all he was full of regret. "I'm sorry Sam! I'm sorry to everyone!" He cried, truly scaring Sam.

"What for G?" Sam asked, obviously trying to calm him down, but Callen doubted anything would again.

"For… everything." He said, not knowing what else to say - there wasn't long enough to list everything.

"Like what G?" Then one word and one solution came to his mind, there was only one way to stop himself. He had lived a life instead of that boy - he needed to pay for that. He had hurt his friends for so long, that was unforgivable. There was only one way - locking him up wouldn't be enough; Callen could escape anywhere if he needed or wanted to.

"Living." He said, seeing Sam and Kensi both panic.

"G?" But Callen needed to explain before he left, that was all he could do. So he continued and fingered the trigger of his SIG.

"I am sorry for hurting you all. I know now how much I have hurt you, I know what I have done is wrong and I wish I hadn't. I have been selfish and self-absorbed but I can't change that now. I know Hetty can hear me, I have ruined her life just as I have all yours and Kerry's. I am sorry Momma but I can't hurt you all anymore. There is only one way to end this."

* * *

Deeks was waiting at the top of the fire escape; he peered carefully over the top edge of the roof and saw Callen standing only three feet to his left, with gun in hand. Sam and Kensi were far over to his right, Sam had holstered his gun but Kensi had hers drawn. Deeks was sure it was aimed at Callen's gun, just in case she needed to disarm him.

"I'm sorry Sam! I'm sorry to everyone!" Deeks ducked back down and listened; there was nothing he could do yet. He had a tear in his eye as he listened to the rest of Callen's confession and apology. Deeks truly admired Callen and wished he could be an agent like him, although he knew he never could be. That was partly why he didn't sign the papers Hetty had given him. Callen was a true agent - born for the calling - as we're Sam and Kensi. Deeks was a half-decent cop with a troubled childhood and a law degree. He could never be an agent - he was sure Sam knew that as well as him; probably why the Seal didn't trust or like him.

"There is only one way to end this." Callen said. Deeks gasped when he heard his leader; he knew that tone of voice. He knew what he meant, but Sam didn't.

"Well we sure as hell ain't gonna arrest you G." Sam said.

"Please Callen, we all need to talk." Kensi said, also lost.

"It's too late Sam, I'm sorry. Tell Kerry and Momma I'm sorry." Deeks heard the resignation in the agent's voice, the calm before the end. The detective backed up a little and ran forwards, using the handrail as a step to the rooftop. As he landed on the roof he saw Callen remove the safety on his SIG and bring up his arm.

"G?" Sam asked, his eyes growing wide. "G!" He roared, but he was too far away. Callen closed his eyes and Deeks pushed himself the next two steps. He jumped towards Callen and grabbed him, but the momentum his strength had built up took them both too far and they rolled over the edge of the rooftop.


	21. Chapter 21

Hetty gasped in shock, along with the rest of Ops as Deeks barrelled into Callen and took them both over the edge. Hetty had heard her son's confession and silently cried at his apology, she truly had failed him, and Clara. She had been about to shout to Sam as she understood - she saw him remove the safety on his weapon. But Deeks had worked it out before all of them.

The room was silent, apart from Nell and Hetty's sobs and they waited for Eric to hack the next camera. They watched as Sam and Kensi rushed to the edge of the roof in a panic. But Hetty looked to Nate, who was crying silently. He looked to Hetty and nodded, them both understanding the need for silence. Hetty looked to her best technical agent and also saw his face wet with tears, but he kept his expression stoic as he forced his hands to type.

In her peripheral Hetty saw Nell barrel into Nate and burst into noisy sobs, sniffing and coughing into his shoulder. Hetty had only ever taken comfort in one person; the only one to see her vulnerable and truly distraught - her son. He had held her when she cried for her lost agents and Clara, he had comforted her and smiled when she told him about Clara when she should have done so for him. Then Kerry came rushing into the room - Hetty had granted her access to the building but for a moment wished she hadn't.

"Hetty?" She cried desperately. Kerry stood for a moment staring at Hetty and saw the despair in her face, glancing to the others and seeing the same pain mirrored in their faces she knew someone was dead. "No!" She cried, running to Hetty and falling to her knees beside her.

Hetty wrapped her arms around Kerry and prayed for the best as she tried to calm her.

"We don't know." She whispered.

"Show me." Kerry said, Hetty could hear her voice and understood it was what she needed. She nodded to Eric who went back on the screen - still waiting for the next camera to load. He pressed play at the appropriate time and they re-watched his speech before Deeks came onto the screen. That was when they all looked down and closed their eyes.

* * *

Sam only understood when G started bringing the SIG towards his head. Kensi gasped behind him and they both knew they could no longer help him - they wouldn't talk him out of it or get to him in time. He was lost to them.

"G…" he whispered, but no one else heard him - even Hetty wouldn't have. His partner closed his eyes as his gun came to rest with the barrel against his head. Sam hadn't even noticed him remove the safety, although he could see that he had. But then Deeks came out of nowhere, over the edge of the roof and crashed into Callen, just before he was about to pull the trigger. But Deeks had been going too fast and couldn't stop himself before he went over the edge, still holding onto G. The next minute felt like hours in slow motion.

Sam stood for less than a second before he ran towards the side, Kensi following him while screaming her partner's name. Sam and Kensi reached the edge of the roof, grabbing onto the small concrete wall their partners had tumbled over.

What they saw scared Sam and stopped his heart beating.

* * *

Deeks was gripping onto a ledge just below the edge of the roof with one hand, his other arm was wrapped around an unconscious Callen and he was trying very hard not to let him go. Sam's face came into view and looked surprised to see them both there. Then Kensi looked over and looked relieved, Deeks couldn't help but smile at her momentarily. But the pain in his arm was getting worse, he wouldn't be able to hold on much longer.

"Sam… grab him." He groaned, not wanting to waste energy on words. The Seal came back to the present and leaned over the edge, he took hold of his unconscious partner's arm. "Do you have him?" Deeks asked. Sam nodded and Deeks loosened his grip, luckily Kensi managed to grab Callen around the chest and pull the rest of him over.

But Deeks was really struggling, his hand was slipping quickly and his other arm wouldn't move above his shoulder. The detective looked down as he was about to slip and closed his eyes at the long way down. There was nothing below him until the concrete sidewalk - nothing to break his fall or grip onto. Deeks looked back up at his partner, who was just lowering Callen to the ground. He smiled at her just as she glanced at him and he lost his grip entirely.

He heard Kensi scream his name just before he slipped and Deeks gave up all hope, there was nothing to stop him from going splat on the ground after a frighteningly long fall. But a sudden pain in his wrist made him stop in mid-air and he looked up surprised.

Sam was leaning dangerously far over the edge and had one hand tightly clamped around the detective's wrist. The Seal was strong but even he looked strained as he held Deeks suspended twenty-five floors above the earth. Kensi held Sam as he pulled his right arm and Deeks towards safety. As soon as Deeks was in her reach, Kensi took hold of him and the two agents dragged him over the small wall, before he landed on the rooftop with a painful thud. Deeks groaned and lay gasping for breath for a moment before the beautiful face he had ever seen was right above him.

"Fern?" He asked with a slight smirk and a quiet cough. Kensi grinned down at him and brushed his hair out of his face. Before he could say something else she leaned down towards him and kissed him like he had wanted to kiss her ever since they had been partners.

When it was over he couldn't help the smile he knew would be on his face, he had never been so truly happy.

"Should I jump off rooftops more often?" He asked. "Because if that's what I get after… I will." Kensi laughed down at him and kissed him quickly again.

"If you do, you won't get anything apart from shot. These are free." She said, giving him another quick kiss before looking up at Sam with a sheepish smile. "Sorry." She said.

"Don't be." He said, kneeling down next to Deeks. "We've been waiting for it." Kensi went red and looked down embarrassed. Then Deeks realised Sam was staring at him and the detective finally looked away from the girl he loved more than anything. Deeks was scared, was Sam going to shout at him? Hit him?

* * *

"Deeks, why do you look scared?" Sam asked.

"I-I… is Callen alright?" He asked with an oddly worried expression.

"Yes, the ambulances are on their way." Sam was about to say something else before Deeks butted in.

"Why more than one?" He asked.

"Because you might need one." At his words Sam saw Deeks' eyes widen and his breathing quicken. It was only then he understood. He had been truly awful to the detective, he had threatened him almost every day since they had met and been nothing other than rude and distrustful towards him.

Sam couldn't stop the lone tear that escaped; he really was a terrible person. His colleague was afraid of him and thought Sam would hurt him, but why would he be? He just saved his partner's life.

"Deeks…" Sam said, reaching for his shoulder. Deeks flinched away and then looked even more lost and confused and afraid. Sam had seen that look before, that fear - right after Sam had touched G's shoulder.

"Sorry Sam…" Deeks began, but Sam shook his head and cut him off.

"No, I am sorry. I have been awful to you and you didn't deserve it, I don't know why I have been. You saved my life the other day and you just saved my best friend too. I don't know why I have been so horrible and unfair but I am sorry and I will change. I won't accept your apology; I know why you flinched Marty. I only hope you'll forgive me; I won't hurt you." Deeks stared up at Sam apparently still confused but he seemed calmer.

"I thought you would be angry." He whispered, seemingly unaware that he had spoken. Sam looked at Kensi who was also confused and shrugged.

"Deeks, why would I be angry? You just did a good thing!" Sam was utterly lost and shocked - he needed Nate.

"No! I didn't." Deeks cried before putting his arm over his face. "I'm sorry!" Sam looked to Kensi who stared at her partner and looked only scared. Sam whispered Nate's name and asked for help. It was only a moment before the psychologist's voice came through the earwig.

"It is a natural reaction from his childhood. His father used to punish him for doing anything good. Bring him back to the present." Sam was shocked, how could a father do that to a child? But then he remembered G's childhood. The few stories he had heard gave Sam nightmares; he didn't know how his partner dealt with them.

"Deeks? Marty? Come on, it's Sam. Open your eyes Deeks." The shaggy blonde was calming down just as sirens came racing down the street towards them. Sam nodded to Kensi to go and get the paramedics ready, he said he would bring the two men down in a minute.

"Deeks, you need to come back. I need to explain." After a few moments of deep breathing Deeks finally opened his eyes and upon seeing Sam, lowered his arm.

"Sam? Kensi?" Sam smiled lightly.

"Kensi has gone to meet the EMTs, are you alright to walk to the lift?" He asked, Deeks nodded and sat up slowly. "Deeks, I didn't mean to scare you. I have a lot of making up to do and I hope we will be okay. I didn't mean to remind you of your childhood, I didn't know." Deeks looked surprised and Sam backtracked a little as he always needed to with G. "I guess you don't need to talk about it, but if you ever need to, I'll listen." Deeks looked both shocked and grateful. "I never knew how bad it was." Sam said, as Deeks nodded.

"No one does, no one asked. I'll talk if anyone wants to know, but I don't want to burden people so I only talk if people ask." Sam nodded and helped the man to his feet, how awful of them not to ask.


End file.
